Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw & his environ:
My to-do list, courtesy of Master Colbert:

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
Today’s word is initiative. It’s a big issue for unemployed folks like me. What makes someone get up in the single-digit morning hours when no one will yell or throw money either way? How is it that successful people say ‘yes’ to so many tasks and responsibilities every day? I don’t know. I hear it takes two weeks of repetitive activity to start a new habit. Would it “take” if I were to simply act like a type-A go-getter for 14 days?

Austin certainly doesn’t encourage productivity. It’s the kind of place where you work just hard enough to stay in the city limits and enjoy everything. Steve Earle says “the weather’s too good, the girls are too pretty and the dope’s too cheap” to get anything going. That’s why he hangs his hat in Tennessee.

Initiative is that moment wherein you get off the couch. Everybody knows that. But what about the moment ten minutes earlier where you think, “I should get off the couch now,” and you don’t? What is the psychological and physiological difference between those two moments? I made the comment recently that if I could bottle initiative, I’d be a millionaire. Ok, that sounds good, but let’s say it’s in the bottle, and you have to inject it into your system. Well, dang it, it takes initiative to get out the needle, extract Southpaw’s Initio-2000, thump out the bubble, find the vein, and work it in! If you’re willing to do that, you obviously don’t need it in the first place!

So I’ll also need to market a pre-syringe pill. You keep it in your pocket and toss one down when you’re ready to start moving. That gives you just enough boost to get working on the shot. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Dr. Jones, sometimes I can’t seem to get the pill all the way up and into my mouth.” That’s why I’m also hypothetically introducing Let’s-Get-it-Started Vapo-Rub! (Please do not mix with the similarly packaged Let’s-Get-Retarded Moisturizer.) First, you decide to be productive. Then you rub. (BTW, do NOT try to take LGISVR on a commercial flight.) Then you pop the pill, inject the magic (twice in each arm), and I swear you will be a bumblebee of worth and success for up to 90 minutes. And I’ll be rich with a capital-rolled-Spanish ‘R’!

Spike Gillespie presents
A Haiku History of the World
A look at our past, / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Colonists unite.
Boston tea fling leads sun to
set on British flag.

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:
A lovely doodle-enhancer to kick off your weekend. Here’s where I found it.

Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:
Non-permanent crustacean (1 syllable each)
Highlight here for answer: [temp shrimp]

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