Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
Good morning! I’m celebrating today, because I scored a positive review in the Austin Chronicle yesterday. Will I post it below, you ask? You better-bum-betcha I will! Remember, and remember to tell your friends, that the CD is available at Waterloo, iTunes, and southpawjones.com.

Happy Friday to all. Tomorrow, I have a gig at St. Andrews opening for my friend and hero Ana Egge. Details here. Big game, shmig shmame!

Now, I’m sure you’ve heard that Katie Couric has begun her reign as anchor of the CBS Evening News, and she’s looking for a sign-off. I jumped over to Letterman’s site to see if he had done a Top Ten List about this, and it looks like he hasn’t. So I’m going to try one. [I did notice a contest, though, where users can submit a Top Ten item on the topic of Other Changes To “Survivor.” I submitted “Island replaced by floating torture dome.” I could win a mouse pad.]

Anyhoo, here are ten suggestions for Katie Couric:

1. Time to make the donuts.
2. Sorry to be such a buzzkill.
3. But, you know, it’s like, whatever…
4. And I don’t even have a gun to my head pushing this garbage.
5. Our children’s future hangs in the balance. Sleep tight.
6. Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody in there?
7. For the rest of the liberal media elite, this is K.C. and the Abortion Band.
8. Somebody, somewhere, just turned 100. Nice work, big shot.
9. Iraq and 9/11 are linked, and two-term limits are for cheese-eating tote bags.
10. Well, that’s enough of that.

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:
Southpaw Jones
Bedroom Demos Vol. 1: Zero Demand
Reviewed by BY Jim Caligiuri
Austin Chronicle September 9, 2006

Austin has its share of quirky in all art forms, but when it comes to folksingers, nobody keeps the town weirder than Southpaw Jones. Comparisons to They Might Be Giants, Jonathan Richman, and perhaps Daniel Johnston are apt, yet only Jones writes of pop culture, politics, and that thing called love in a manner that’s painfully clever, clear, and truly laugh-out-loud funny. Equally remarkable is the fact that he’s solely responsible for every note played and all the vocals on Bedroom Demos. While that means a reliance on clunky rhythm machines and the occasional overly naive keyboard track, the chorus of Southpaw’s on “Seersucker Lullaby” and the doo-wop backing on “Man at Home” ranks several wows. By covering topics that encompass self-improvement, X-ray vision, his grandma’s liberal politics, and the memoirs of a sniper’s assistant, the bespectacled lefthander might be a bit overwhelming for those who like their local singer-songwriters in anguish and/or rainbows mode. Bedroom Demos is only Jones’ third album, although he claims to write more than 100 songs a year. Nevertheless, his talent for bold honesty, quick-witted wordplay, and innocent yet ear-catching melodies has grown into a monster that can no longer be ignored.

***

Southpaw Jones presents
Do it With Style
Fun words to say while belching, stretching, or answering the phone:
Quagmire
Liechtenstein
Bar-B-Cue Sauce
Homely Immigrant
Pete Yorn

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
The temporary burger insanity defense! Instantly humanizing.

Everything I do is blown out of proportion and it really hurts my feelings. So maybe I was speeding a little bit and I got pulled over. I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out burger.
Paris Hilton

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:
Dodge the dot, people! I think it’s impossible, but you may have better luck. I found it right here.

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.