Southpaw Jones

Songmaker • Whimsicologist • Austinite
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Archive for September, 2006

Friday has a wristband!

September 15, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

1.Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
Today begins the Austin City Limits music festival, mere feet from my apartment. I was able to score a wristband, thanks to The Ginn Sisters, and the blog will suffer today as a result. But I shall try to report on the happenings Monday. Happy Friday to all!

2.Southpaw Jones presents
Retro Blog
Real journal entries from elementary school:
January 31, 1986

When I grow up I want to be a private investigator. You know, like Magnum PI. I have a nose for adventure. But I hope I don’t have to shoot any guns. I want to get married and have two children. I want a two-story house in the country.

3.Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Herman Haiku #5

He has a sickness
It is called optimism
He sees only joy

4.Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
Joseph Addison

5.Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:
Here’s a calm little puzzle game. Keep it even, Steven! Probably best if you enjoy it here.

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

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Thursday seeks Official Weekend Status.

September 14, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

1.Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
God bless Ann Richards, our beloved former governor, who passed away last night. “A woman’s place is in the dome!” She was the first victim of the Bush/Rove scum machine. I often dream of an alternate reality wherein she won that 1994 governor race, and the course of world history is forever changed. She lost because she saw people and places as more important that business and guns, so I certainly can’t fault her. From KEYE in Austin: “Her family said as governor she was most proud of two actions that probably cost her re-election. She vetoed legislation that would allow people to carry concealed handguns, automatic weapons and “cop-killer bullets.” She also vetoed a bill that would have allowed the destruction of the environment over the Edwards Aquifer.”

God bless Kinky Friedman, our beloved future governor. He’s not a perfect man or candidate by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s pro-legalization, anti-TAKS test, and skeptical of the death penalty. Check it out.

Finally, God bless Apple Computers, for they have returned my MacBook with a stain-free cover today. That’s right, I sent it out Tuesday at 2 pm, and it returned to me, fixed, Thursday at 10 am. Don’t let your next computer be a PC, my friends.

2.Southpaw Jones presents
Retro Blog
Real journal entries from elementary school:

January 29, 1986

My favorite color is blue. I like blue because blue is one of Auburn’s colors. My mother’s eyes are blue, the sky is blue, blue is the color of Full Circles. Blue means cold and cold means snow, fires, and ice. The color blue is nice.

I was very interested in snow as a child in southern Alabama. I was 18-years-old when I finally saw snow on the ground. I don’t quite remember what “Full Circles” might be.

3.Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Herman Haiku #4

He has a gray braid
down to his ass. His rule is:
Only cut for court.

4.Southpaw Jones presents
Two (2) Pathetic Things
Humility is our only hope:
1] waking up early
2] waking up late

5.Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it, anything but live for it.
Charles Caleb Cotton

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

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Wednesday really misses his MacBook.

September 13, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

1.Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
Well, folks, The Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette may suffer a bit this week, as my MacBook is in the shop. The problem? Mac Stains! That’s right, a certain group of their laptops reacts in such a way to fingertip sweat that you can’t clean it. Believe me, I tried. So I sent my baby away, and now I’m working on my old, old Dell laptop. It’s hard to go back, my friends, so bear with me for a few days.

2.Southpaw Jones presents
Retro Blog
Real journal entries from elementary school:

1-27-1986 - Something about weather?
It is important because it will tell you when to stay out of school. If the weather is bad, it will tell you where a hurricane will hit. It will tell if snow is coming and how much there will be. A weather report can be very helpful.

3.Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world, / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Herman Haiku #3

He observes clients’
clogged toilets and croons, “So how
does this make you feel?”

4.Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:
An extra responsibility. (1 syllable each)
Highlight here for answer: [bonus onus]

5.Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
It was partially my fault that we got divorced…I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

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Tuesday beats scissors.

September 12, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Paw Prints 1 Comment →

1.Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:
The official beer of southpawjones.net:

Southpaw Light

2.Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before.
Mae West

3.Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Herrman Haiku #2

Oh how I love my
singing Jewish plumber huz
with his psych degree

4.Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:
A member of one of the mendicant orders who makes french fries.
Highlight here for answer: [friar fryer]

5.Southpaw Jones presents
Lazy Links
Something way more entertaining that I can offer:In case you haven’t seen it yet, the great Overheard in the Office.

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

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Monday morning mourns again.

September 11, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Paw Prints, iPawed, Interesting? No Comments →

1.Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
I woke up in Portland, Oregon the morning of September 11, 2001. I was sleeping on the couch in the living room of Al’s house. Al had graciously provided lodging for Erik Muiderman and me; we were both traveling as part of Tourbaby 2001.

I had met Al briefly the night before, when he told us that he’d be waking up early to fly to a men’s retreat in the Midwest. I woke up groggily around 9 and stumbled into the kitchen where I saw two packed bags on the floor. Right about that time, Erik came down the stairs, just as groggily, and Al came around the corner.

He told us that his flight turned around and returned to Portland when “someone crashed planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.” What a strange thing to hear. Of course, I first imagined small planes. I was wrong.

We turned on the TV to see a cloud of gray and brown. It was almost noon on the east coast, and as I recall, everything had already happened. The planes found their targets, Flight 93 had crashed, and both towers had fallen. We watched replays, confusion, and scrambling anchors for as long as we could before leaving the house.

Erik, Al, and I found some local breakfast and tried to get our minds off the whole thing. The newspapers already had HORROR! on the front page, bigger than any headline I had ever seen. I was looking forward to that day because my favorite band, They Might Be Giants, were releasing their first album in years, Mink Car. This was also the day that Bob Dylan’s Love & Theft came out.

Call me shallow, but the record store was open, so I bought the CD. It was odd how everything seemed business-as-usual in Portland. Everything was open. The weather was beautiful.

I went into a bank to make a deposit. Two very nervous Middle Eastern men came in to do some business, while another waited outside. I wanted to get away from them, and they wanted to get away from me. So began the whole new world.

We had sushi that night in another attempt to ease our minds. It was the freshest fish I have ever eaten. I ate a fried shrimp head, eyeballs and all. One of Al’s friends, or maybe Al himself, took a sliver of each kind of sushi and placed it aside “for the gods.” I may never leave sushi uneaten again, but I didn’t dare touch our discarded bits that night. We needed some friends upstairs. Still do.

2.Southpaw Jones presents
iPawed [Classic]
Pound for pound, the best sounds around. For free!
A quick clip from the musical response to my 9-11 experience in the Pacific Northwest. This song appears in full on Live @ Bongo Java.
Oregon Blues (Live)

3.Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

The lyrics from Oregon Blues:

Oregon’s a good a place as any to hunker down a while
Oregon’s a good a place as any to hunker down a while
I saw and learned so much there
That I started up a file

The coastline is a stunner, I headed down to Devil’s churn
The coastline is a stunner, I headed down to Devil’s churn
When those girls in Eugene flash a smile
The world just has to slow its turn

The loggers and the huggers, they fight like cats & dogs
The loggers and the huggers, they fight like cats & dogs
There’s this mighty flowing river
That that dam Bonneville clogs

Heard ol’ Bob Dylan sing “Today’s been a sad and lonesome day”
Heard ol’ Mr. Guthrie sing
“Roll on, Columbia roll on”
“Roll on Columbia roll on”
Went out to the fish shop
Got some shrimp, bought some mussel, ate up some prawn

Met a wise man up in Portland. He sees where every wild beast plods.
Met a wise man up in Portland. He sees where every wild beast plods.
We shared a mound of sushi
Even offered up some to the gods.

Towers fell in New York on a day called 911
Towers fell in New York on the day called 911
Breaking this cycle of terror
That’ll be the biggest thing man’s ever done

Down in Pennsylvania, that’s where the final missile fell
Down in Pennsylvania, that’s where the final missile fell
It held purpose and evil and oceans of fuel
And a handful of heroes as well

Can’t send me to Asia, I’ve got these goofy songs to sing
Please don’t send me to Kabul, I’ve got these goofy songs to sing
Ain’t got no heart for fightin’
I wouldn’t even know which gun to bring

Two dark gray military jets patrolled the empty sky
Two charcoal military jets slashed the northwestern sky
I headed south to Ashland,
Had me some boysenberry pie

Oregon’s a good a place as any to sit and rest a spell
Oregon’s a good a place as any to hang your head a spell
There’s plenty of ways to ease your mind
While the world goes straight to hell

4.Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Herman Haiku #1

Herm goes to work in
Mississippi. Spike laments,
“I miss the hippie.”

5.Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:
Devil’s Churn on the Oregon coast:

Devil's Churn

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

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    “You and I, we had such a passion, 'till you sent my dreams all a'crashin'.”
    -- No One Cares, The Southpaw Jones Starter Kit
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