Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
First Lines
Introductions to classic works I will never finish:

Dry, salty, and stale. Never will there be a finer three-pronged description of Noam’s pretzel and, well, Noam himself. He sat grimacing in the driver’s seat of a filthy yellow steamroller on the edge of an expanding suburban subdivision. His wife was a substitute teacher, and they had met in the sub-zero Atlantic on a Navy submarine.

They had one son named Grimez who worked as an A&R rep for Sub Pop Records. He was an ex-con and the subject of a subplot in a substandard crime novel. The author, Shlaz, was the subordinate of a more famous crime novelist, Colostomy Brown.

Noam hated reading. Noam hated his pretzel. Noam wanted a sub sandwich, and he knew full well that his foreman had a 12-inch club waiting in the fridge. Noam seriously considered flattening this man. “We won’t have any warning when the sun explodes,” he thought, “We’ll just be gone.”

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Here’s one from the Harmony Oak House Concert in Houston on September 30, 2006. Thanks, Melissa!

Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

One who lifts a blade.
Highlight here for answer: [razor raiser]

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world/seventeen syllables and/three lines at a time:

i can change my own
damn tire! hear me roar, herm!
i don’t need no man

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Love Me Do, the first song we recorded, John was supposed to sing the lead, but they changed their minds and asked me to sing lead because they wanted John to play harmonica.
Paul McCartney

Thank you, come again!
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©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.