Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

So I wanted to discuss the atheist debate/interview I posted on Friday. The truth is, I find it odd that folks are out there actively trying to disprove the existence of God in the year 2006. It seems to me that they miss the point just as much as the most fundamental fundamentalists.

There are vast, amazing possibilities between the two statements, “There is a God,” and “There is no God.” When are we human beings going to start exploring all of that territory, instead of standing on the extremes like dweebs in a dodge ball game?

What a word! God. It’s like “love,” with all its situational ambiguity. Yes, studies show that more than 90 percent of Americans believe in God. But I don’t think that all those people believe in a perfect being with a human personality. So I’ve compiled a brain-stormy list of synonyms for God:
The Way Things Are
The Cosmos
The Mystery
The Great Form
The All
The Unity
The Warmth
The Progress
The Universe
One Love
The Oneness
The Hope
The Flow

That last one is my favorite. When folks say, “Go with the flow,” they’re really saying something pretty close to, “Go with God.” Vaya con Dios. Right?

Anyhoo, maybe you see my point, maybe you don’t. That point is this: No one would be so silly as to ‘disprove’ the items on my list, but that’s what God is! It so annoys atheists that people use the word “God” and place some human elements into their perception of The Big Thing. Is that so bad? I mean, sure, we could do without some of the war, ignorance, and judgment that comes from religion. I get that. If you have a brilliant mind for logic and proofs, though, why not write a book that convinces people to be nice to each other? What good can be done by making my grandma question her faith during her peaceful stroll through Border’s?

God is in the eye of the beholder, friends, and my god exists everywhere but my shower, and everytime except Saturday night. Party!!! If you’ve ever had a moment of magic in your life, in nature, in sex, in family, in coincidence, you just can’t be a comfortable, 100% atheist. You believe in The Vast Tingly Something, and you know it.

Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The less impressive outside.
Highlight here for answer: [inferior exterior]

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

nia? you ask me.
yes, nia. free “dance” for us
klutzy mid-life chicks

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
The Corazon Free Trade Lucha Libre Mask Collection:

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
I’m left-handed. All my rhythm went into my left hand, so naturally I picked up the ukulele upside down and backwards.
Dick Dale

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

What a weekend, what a weekend! Whew. I got some new jeans, a new shirt, and a new shower curtain. I ate a burger at Jo’s on swanky 2nd. I saw the Stella Shorts show at the Drafthouse Downtown featuring David Wain, and the Michaels (Showalter and Ian Black). We fought through 6th street lunkheads to get to Lovejoys. Then, magically, it was Saturday. I had a lunch burrito for breakfast, then I recorded The Great Pumpkin Soup, which is available for download below.

Saturday night was stand-up comedy at Emo’s, also featuring Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black. Many friends in the crowd, good times all around. After that, Maggie & I were off to the Magnolia for turkey tacos and chocolate-chip pancakes. Mmmm. Mmm.

Sunday found us at two pre-parties in my neighborhood. Pre-parties for what, you ask? Well, The Rolling Stones, performing a few feet away in the park! I didn’t go to the show. The Stones just don’t yank my bangs, you know. But it was VERY loud, and we were able to hear a pretty good mix just sitting my my living room with the window open. Free live Stones audio! I CAN get some satisfaction. Yay, Austin.

Southpaw Jones presents
iPawed [Original]
Pound for pound, the best sounds around. For free!

Another song for the Soup Peddler. This time, a celebration of Pumpkin Soup and Halloween. Don’t be skerred.

The Great Pumpkin Soup (2:09)

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

actually i do
listen to sting’s new age gloop
in my nia class

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Yet another from the Harmony Oak House Concert in Houston on September 30, 2006. Thanks, Melissa!

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Courtney Love’s name should be right next to Bob Dylan when they say best lyricist of all time.
Linda Perry

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Happy Friday to all! Below, I’ve got some video of Stephen Colbert discussing the existence of God with Richard Dawkins. I fully intended to explore my own thoughts on the subject, but it’s Friday, dang it, and I’m just gonna hang loose.

I’ve got tickets to see the boys of Stella both tonight and Saturday! The comedy trio includes Michael Ian Black, David Wain, and (my favorite) Michael Showalter. Tonight, they’re presenting the original, filthy Stella Shorts at the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown. Saturday, the two Michaels will perform stand-up at Emo’s. I love this here town.

Before I leave you to sections 2 through 5, I have one question. I’ve been working in an office for almost a month now, and I have to know: Why does executive poop smell worse than any other man-made poop? I’ve been in truck stops, Luby’s, and Kerrville octo-johns, but these dudes are by far the most offensive producers. Is it the stress? The coffee? Please, Mr. Before Me in the W.C., if you’re reading this, go see a damn doctor.

Southpaw Jones presents
SPJTV
Moving pictures because technology allows it:

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

empower? did i
just say empower? oh crap,
what next‹sting music?

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

I found an easy-to-use Essay Generator, so I decided to cook up an essay about myself. Honestly, I learned a great deal:

An essay on Southpaw Jones

I shall now enrich your life by sharing with you about Southpaw Jones. I really, really like Southpaw Jones. While it is becoming a hot topic for debate, there are just not enough blues songs written about Southpaw Jones. It still has the power to shock the easily lead, who just don’t like that sort of thing. Here begins my indepth analysis of the glourious subject of Southpaw Jones.

Social Factors

Comparisons between Roman Society and Medieval Society give a clear picture of the importance of Southpaw Jones to developments in social conduct. I will not insult the readers inteligence by explaining this obvious comparison any further. When J H Darcy said ‘fevour will spread’ [1] she created a monster which society has been attempting to tame ever since. A society without Southpaw Jones is like a society without knowledge, in that it irons out misconceptions from our consciousness.

Nothing represents every day life better than Southpaw Jones, and I mean nothing. It grows stonger every day.

Political Factors

Politics, we all agree, is a fact of life. Comparing international relations since the end of the century can be like observing Southpaw Jones now, and its equivalent in the 1800s.

Take a moment to consider the words of nobel prize winner Achilles B. Adger ‘political change changes politics, but where does it go?’ [2] One cannot help but agree when faced with Southpaw Jones, that this highlights an important issue. Perhaps the word which sums up the importance of Southpaw Jones to politics is ‘participation’.

Since the Renaissance Southpaw Jones has become more and more prevalent. May it continue.

Conclusion

What can we conclude? Well, Southpaw Jones may not be the best thing since sliced bread, but it’s still important. It questions, ‘literally’ plants seeds for harvest, and statistically it’s great.

I will leave you with the words of Hollywood’s Ozzy Garfunkel: ‘I demand Southpaw Jones, nothing more nothing less.’ [3]
——————————————————————————–
[1] J H Darcy - The Spaniard - 1988 - PPT

[2] Adger - Politics Per Day - 2000 Jinder Publishing

[3] It Magazine - Issue 302 - Spam Media Group

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:

I sincerely hope you fare better at this game than I did. I will not be held responsible if you break any part of your computer, surroundings, or person as a result of playing it. Here’s where I found it.

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

It’s Thursday. Practically the weekend. I’m at the office, pre-coffee. I like to save coffee until 10 am. It’s a nice midway point between waking and lunching. It doesn’t feel right to kick-start my heart at 8 am.

I’ve been looking into lucid dreaming a little bit. I’m jealous of those folks who claim they can control their dreams. Seems to me they get to live twice as much life as the rest of us.

Once, as a kid, I was being chased by a monster in a dream. I had bunk beds in my room, and this particular night, I was on the bottom bunk. I knew I couldn’t escape the monster by running away, so I forced my real self to sit up and hit my head on the top bunk. It hurt. With such control, you’d think I could have just willed myself awake. Apparently knot.

In my adult life, I have had only one lucid dream experience. I was on a stool, talking to some friends, when I realized that I was dreaming. I started to bounce up and down, holding the stool under me. Instead of splintering, the stool continued to bounce higher and higher, fifty feet, one hundred feet, and I got that roller-coaster feeling in my gut each time I came down. This so excited me that, of course, I woke up. It was a cool feeling, and I want to get there again sometime.

It’s fairly common for inexperienced lucid dreamers to wake up from excitement. I read recently that the trick is to spin around or start running through the dream to stay in it. Try it yourself, yo, and wish me luck.

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Yet another from the Harmony Oak House Concert in Houston on September 30, 2006. Thanks, Melissa!

Spike Gillespie presents
The Office of Good Deeds
Spike refuses to let tragedy get the best of us:

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Dear Everyone On My Sundry Mailing Lists,

This is a direct response to the horrible tragedy in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania this past Monday when Charles Roberts gunned down ten young Amish girls, five of whom died and five who are fighting still for their lives. My friend Chris lives in this community and I emailed him Monday afternoon to offer him my… well, to tell him I was thinking about him.

Because it had been reported that the gunman carried out these executions due to a twenty year-old grudge, I told Chris that, to honor those little girls and their community, I am taking a vow from here on out to not hold any more grudges. (For those of you who know me or have read my work, you know that me vowing to give up grudges is akin to a dog voluntarily giving up its bark. This won’t be an easy thing for me but it’s something I’ve been needing to do for a long time. I’m just sorry it took something so horrible to get my attention re: the trouble with grudges.)

I got a note back from Chris who told me he passed my message on to one of his Amish neighbors who said, “That is the best response I heard.” Honestly, I wasn’t angling for a reply, so I was surprised to get this message back. And so I am passing along to you a request that, if you have it in you, please, in honor of the Amish community, give up one grudge today, or at least try. This is what we call, in yoga, a counter pose. If you stretch one way, it’s really important to stretch the opposite way for balance. Please, join me in stretching in the opposite direction of Charles Roberts.

Before I got Chris’s email today, Herman and I were watching the news and there was a segment about the shootings. And I said to Herman that the thing that would be the most astonishing is that the Amish will find a way to forgive the killer and, I predict, they will reach out to his wife and children. This echoes two tales I recount in my last book. In one story, Amy Biehl, a young white American Fullbright Scholar working for racial equality South Africa was stoned and stabbed to death by blacks. Her parents forgave these men and went on to continue their daughter’s work through the Amy Biehl Foundation. In the other story, a guy named Bud Welch, whose daughter was killed in the Oklahoma City bombing not only forgave Timothy McVeigh but also befriended McVeigh’s father. (My friend Hank Stuever wrote a wonderful piece about “Bud the Forgiver” for the Washington Post.)

One more thing. I am using this Drop-A-Grudge campaign to unofficially launch a project I have been mulling for some time now. I am starting, here in Austin, the Office of Good Deeds. We’ll be a virtual organization until I can find us an office and funds to pay for that office. We will match up people wanting to do good deeds with people in need of having good deeds done. We will have the following departments: The Department of Gold Stars, headed by Victoria Vlach, who hands out gold stars to people when she witnesses them doing something nice; The Department of Arts and Crafts to promote peace through felt ponies, knitted scarves, quilt making and other fun activities; The Department of Song and Dance to encourage …. well that one is self-explanatory; The Department of Witness to record good deeds you see others do; and, in honor of the girls from Nickel Mines, The Department of Grudge Release.

Please let me know if you¹d like to be involved in The Office of Good Deeds. Please email me with any good deeds you witness. I’ll try to get a web page up some time in late October or November.

I want to preface by saying that I’m not a fan of forwarded emails and yet I am going to ask you, if you like what I have to say, please forward this on to others who might be interested. I am going to go and let go of a grudge now so if you hear a loud groan or other noise of transition, that would be me, making a change.

With love and hope,
Spike
www.spikegillespie.com
spike@spikeg.com

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

changing my tires
is something i do real good
it empowers me

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Whoever did this was left-handed.
O.J. Simpson

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw presents
He Sez
One man’s manly perspective on…

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP (in theaters now)

Three Pros:
1. It was very ambitious and it looked like candy.
2. The story and characters were never predictable.
3. I enjoyed talk of randomness versus organization. True randomness
really does take more energy!

Three Cons:
1. I was ready for it to be over when it ended.
2. The main protagonist was not very likeable.
3. I like adult movies. (Stop giggling.) And I like child-like movies. But often in this film, the two extremes were placed so close together that it was a turn-off.

I would have loved…some chemical assistance to really enjoy it.

I could have done without…a bit of male nudity and a lot of subtitles.

I think Maggie liked…Gael García Bernal in all his glory.

I found the theater experience at Alamo Drafthouse South to
be…excellent. The previews and pre-show are always worth arriving
early. I don’t know if iced tea should cost $4 outside of an airport
Starbucks, but hey, my girl bought my movie ticket, so I ain’t sweatin’!

A good subtitle for the film: The Science of Sleep (and the Religion of
Waking)

A good title for the sequel: The Science of Sleep 2: The Boogeyman Cometh

This movie is perfect for…young, naturally attractive couples who enjoy
foreign films, music videos, and acting like they know what’s going on
when they really don’t.

Maggie presents
She Sez
One woman’s womanly perspective on…

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP (in theaters now)

Three Pros:
1. Gael Garcia Bernal’s scruffy hair and leisure suit
2. Gael Garcia Bernal dressed in a cat costume
3. really cool visuals and concepts

Three Cons:
1. giant holes in the plot, as if in a dream (yes, this fits, but a little more through-line would have been nice)
2. Gael Garcia Bernal is prettier than the girl he was trying to romance
3. it has one of those abstractly abrupt endings, which is ok i guess, but still a little frustrating

I would have loved…it if I could have followed it better.

I could have done without…the part where his coworker farted. gross.

I think Southpaw liked…the galloping mechanical donkey

I found the theater experience at Drafthouse South to be…true to form - surrounded by hipsters 2 weeks late in viewing this film, and the couple next to us smelled like weed and patchouli.

A good subtitle for the film: The Science of Sleep, or Am I Awake, or Are You Confused?

A good title for the sequel: Wake Up: You Need to Watch This Again.

This movie is perfect for…the art-and-film nerd hybrid hipster deluxe

Southpaw Jones presents
If I Had a Million Dollars
Unnecessary products that inexplicably tempt me:

It’s the One Click Butter Cutter! ($19.99)

“Portion control is an important part of staying healthy.” Do not give me access to that stick of butter or I’ll just eat it all in one bite! If you’re a millionaire, go get one…

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world/seventeen syllables and/three lines at a time:

see, i used to have to
change my tires all the time
as a teenager

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Another from the Harmony Oak House Concert in Houston on September 30, 2006. Thanks, Melissa!

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.