Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
First Lines
Introductions to classic works I will never finish:

Dry, salty, and stale. Never will there be a finer three-pronged description of Noam’s pretzel and, well, Noam himself. He sat grimacing in the driver’s seat of a filthy yellow steamroller on the edge of an expanding suburban subdivision. His wife was a substitute teacher, and they had met in the sub-zero Atlantic on a Navy submarine.

They had one son named Grimez who worked as an A&R rep for Sub Pop Records. He was an ex-con and the subject of a subplot in a substandard crime novel. The author, Shlaz, was the subordinate of a more famous crime novelist, Colostomy Brown.

Noam hated reading. Noam hated his pretzel. Noam wanted a sub sandwich, and he knew full well that his foreman had a 12-inch club waiting in the fridge. Noam seriously considered flattening this man. “We won’t have any warning when the sun explodes,” he thought, “We’ll just be gone.”

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Here’s one from the Harmony Oak House Concert in Houston on September 30, 2006. Thanks, Melissa!

Southpaw Jones presents
Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

One who lifts a blade.
Highlight here for answer: [razor raiser]

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world/seventeen syllables and/three lines at a time:

i can change my own
damn tire! hear me roar, herm!
i don’t need no man

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Love Me Do, the first song we recorded, John was supposed to sing the lead, but they changed their minds and asked me to sing lead because they wanted John to play harmonica.
Paul McCartney

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Ok, ok, I’m trying to get back on track today. Welcome back to The Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette! I took three weeks off to get used to a new job and the corresponding schedule. I won’t say too much about it, but it’s an 8-5 situation in an office environment with lots of paper, scanning, and processing. The office itself is laid back like an Austin workplace should be, and I have few complaints.

It is quite an adjustment, as I was unemployed in any traditional sense for the entire summer, and I became quite accustomed to sleeping from 1:30 am to 9 am. I believe this to be my natural cycle as a rock star and lover of mass quantities of both alone and wind down time.

Anyhoo, the whole idea of the Gazette was creativity and output in conjunction with routine. I’ve got the routine rolling, so now I just have to jump on the actual doing of the thang. Wish me luck, and let me know if you have anything to contribute. I’m always looking for fun, short-attention-span bits of media.

Aristotle wrote that a happy man is “one who is active in accord with perfect virtue and adequately furnished with external goods, not for some chance period of time, but for his whole lifetime.” Having this job will help keep me rolling in my favorite external goods. All the songwriting, performing, and blog-making, they’re part of the activity in accord with virtue. It’s what I’m good at, dang it, and it pleases me along with folks around me. I just want to be a happy man, and I’m on my way this morning.

Oh, yeah, Happy Monday to you and yours!!!

Southpaw Jones presents
Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

A photo by John Anderson of Austin’s boy band sensation, C-Dar Fevar, performing on September 28, 2006 at The Mohawk:

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

A review of the aforementioned performance and Boy Band Hoot Night by Christopher Gray of the Austin Chronicle. Check it out in its original environ here.

GRATUITOUS DUDITY

Austin’s newest singing-and-dancing sensation, Cedar Fever, blew the doors off the Mohawk last Thursday at the new Red River club’s Boy Band Hoot Night. Although Southpaw Jones offered a poignant solo acoustic version of the Backstreet Boys’ “Larger Than Life,” and Golden Bear scored old-school points with NKOTB’s “The Right Stuff” and the Dirty Hearts with Bell Biv DeVoe’s “Poison,” Cedar Fever left them in the dust with suggestive choreography, a panty-moistening cover of Backstreet’s “I Want It That Way,” and adorable jailbird outfits for their breakout single “Prison Bitch.” The quartet’s debut, Gratuitous Dudity, is primed to lead another generation of local tweens down the primrose path of notebook-decorating, clothes-rending, and incessant shrieking.

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

my tire is flat
do i want herm to change it?
yes. no, wait. i don’t.

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
To err is human, to loaf Parisian.
Victor Hugo (1862)

Thank you, come again!
www.southpawjones.net
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.