Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

An open letter to Mr. John Kerry:

Please go away. Me no likey you face! You need to be put out to pasture. It’s time for the glue factory, ol’ boy. You are a loser, and not a cool loser with newfound passion and a documentary like Gore. You’re just a loser, and nobody wants to see or hear you, especially if you’re just going to mess things up.

You say you botched a joke? What business do you have trying to tell jokes, ya jackass? You couldn’t topple the worst president ever! You actually let them do their ridiculous swift boat act all over your butt! Did you like it? Did it tickle? You certainly didn’t fight back!

You’re a power-hungry mule, just like George W., and you need to find meaning in your life outside of the presidency. Do not run in 2008! Just be a senator or whatever. You were so quick to admit defeat on the night of yet another crooked election, so why are you fighting for attention now?

How shall I put this? You are like a junior high yearbook photo of the Democrats and all optimistic, progressive people everywhere. We look at you and remember that we were big losers in 2004. But worse than that, looking at you makes us feel like losers now, today. Like we’ll never be winners! Like all hope is lost! You are the taped-up-glasses-wearing, Izod-shirt-sporting, pimply, fat dork of my soul, and you make me want to cower before the bullies of the world.

Go away. You were Karl Rove’s October Surprise. Nice work. How does that feel, dipstick? Go find something to graze on. Go galloping down the lane of history.

I think you kind of look like a horse.

Your pal,
Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Two (2) Pathetic Things
Humility is our only hope:
1] a fully decorated cubicle
2] a completely bare cubicle

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

the other day a
man came to nia. i laughed.
then did something dumb.

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
The Corazon Free Trade Lucha Libre Mask Collection:

BATMAN?

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Congress, which once spent an entire year investigating a married man’s attempt to cover up an illicit act of oral sex, has shown no curiosity whatsoever about a war that the Bush administration elected to wage that has killed and maimed hundreds of thousands and led our own people to commit war crimes and squandered hundreds of billions of dollars and degenerated into civil war. The contrast is deafening.
Garrison Keillor

Thank you, come again!
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