Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Happy Friday to you! The first day of Decembrrrr. Oh, snap, he be like, brrrr! On this auspicious occasion, I’d like to try something new…
Southpaw’s Stupid Late Night Talk Show Monologue

Thank you. Thanks. Good evening everybody. Oh, stop.

I like this guy in the front row. Could we get a shot of this guy? Hello! Nerd alert! Heh, heh. There’s a manager at some suburban Circuit City going, “That’s Spencer in the audience at The Southpaw Jones Show! He called in sick today!” Ah, I kid the front row, you know.

It’s been a wild week. I don’t know if you saw this: The White House continued to lose confidence in Iraq’s President Al-Maliki today, after he announced his choice to compose the new Iraq national anthem: Roseanne Barr.

Not a great choice. Roseanne Barr.

In celebrity news, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are splitting, due in part to Pam’s role in the Borat film. Rock was quoted as saying, “Putting my wife in a sack is not funny to me. It’s foreplay.”

Kid Rock is now considering his own venture into guerilla comedy, because no one knows who he is anymore.

Oh, come on! I kid Kid. Kid Kid! Kid Kid! Whew, that makes me dizzy.

Finally, this week, a pastor who gave a man’s eulogy stands accused of murdering that same man for his trust fund. Funeral attendees became suspicious when the pastor said, “I feel, like many of you, that he left too soon.”

“Just before he told me his social security number.”

You’re too kind. Alright, everybody, thanks for being here. We’ve got a great show! Joey Lawrence is here! We have a 7-year-old expert on ball-point pens, Spindley Jimlet! For you. On the program. Tonight. And you won’t want to miss a performance from the lovely Ms. Chaka Khan! Stick around!

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:

I have been to paradise, my friends, and it looks a little something like this:

Southpaw Jones presents
iPawed [Original]
Pound for pound, the best sounds around. For free!

SOUTHPAW’S 10 DAYS OF XMAS! FREE MP3s of my 10 “Greatest Hits,” available for a limited time. Get ‘em and share ‘em while you can!

Another selection from The Southpaw Jones Starter Kit, and perhaps the saddest song I ever composed:

Girl from the Country

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

Ah, the Lone Paw Collection from cafepress.com. Click and see:

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henry Youngman

Thank you, come again!



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