Southpaw Jones

Archive for December 20th, 2006

Are these the shadows of things that Wednesday?

December 20, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? 2 Comments →

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Come on out tonight!
Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
8:00 PM
Southpaw Jones & Matt the Electrician
Cafe Mundi

‘Twas the week before Christmas
And east of downtown
Empanadas are baked
To a warm golden brown

The Southpaw was hung
And quite proud of himself
While Matt’s new CD
Was for sale on the shelf

The audience was nestled
All snug in their chairs
While visions of better shows
Danced in their heads

When out in the parking lot
Some wild thing ran loose
I thought to myself
“Is that our long-lost Bruce?”

Around to the window
I turned quick to see
But it was just Santa
A’quiverin’ with glee

More thirsty than a beagle
He ordered a beer
And said, “I got presents
For all y’all in here!”

He reached in his sack
So miraculously small
He pulled out a Corvette
And one Bocce ball

Some dude got a blender
Some chick scored a Wii
There were trinkets and truffles
And treacle and tea!

He gave Matt a trumpet
And an old pewter Noid
I looked in my lap
And saw nothing but void

I looked up at Santa
As a tear traced my nose
“You got nothin’ for me, elf man?
This Christmas blows!”

He said, “Ah, yes, here’s something”
I said, “What is it? What??”
“A free trip to Houston,
You ignorant slut.”

I just started sobbing
When I heard that last jab
Then he walked out the door
And left me with his tab

So I took out my crossbow
To reclaim my honor
I spoke not a word
I just aimed right at Donner

But I never fired
For whatever it’s worth
For Matt had just given
Spontaneous birth

To a miracle baby
We knew to call Milo
“Merry Christmas to all,
Most farms have a silo!”

Southpaw Jones presents
And Another Thing…
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:

I recently sat down for an interview with Russ and Wendy from the Austin Daze, a local zine and web site. They have a unique style in that they ask you questions then publish exactly what you say. ‘Twas a bit nerve-wracking, but I came off as not-too-big-an-idiot. Here’s an excerpt:

AD: For lack of a better word, do you find it hard to be a struggling musician?

SJ: I’m in Austin, so I think that I’m thriving artistically. But I have to spend 40 hours at a job just so I’ll have insurance and a roof above my head. No, I don’t feel like it’s a struggle. If it was a struggle, I’d probably stop doing it because I’m lazy. There are rewards and they are not always monetary.

AD: What is the best thing and the worst thing about being in a thriving music community?

SJ: The best thing is the Austin community of artists and listeners who somehow, no matter how far out I throw my stuff, they pick up on it and they don’t act like the words and melodies that I write are inherently strange. The worst part of it is going out of town after being spoiled by that and people just looking at you with their heads tilted to one side. It’s too much, I guess. I get people saying, “We are going to have to get you back to the asylum, boy” and that kind of thing. I don’t really think my songs are that weird, it’s just not what is on the radio. I speak to a different side of the brain and a different side of the heart and all that stuff.

“All that stuff,” indeed, Southpaw. You can read the whole thing at AustinDaze.com. Long live the Daze!

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
Scared of Santa!:

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
Chinese Curse