Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Poetry that Rhymes
And flows. And builds a bridge. And inspires:

I am small to the mountaintops
Huge to the ants
Slow to start committees
Quick to start rants

I slither in sequins
In some gay man’s dream
I power through paper
In a work-a-day scheme

I’ve known girls who would pre-chew my food
If I asked gently
And girls who wouldn’t take a free meal
If I drove a Bentley

I’ve been licking door knobs to build up my immune system
I’ve been working out with a high-altitude balloon system
Less oxygen up there
Less air to spare
I don’t have a square to spare, I can’t spare a square!

Charles Kuralt says, “”Thanks to the Interstate Highway System,
It is now possible to travel
From coast to coast without seeing anything.”

I wish Mr. Kuralt was more into rhyming.
I don’t like his timing.
I caught his act in South Caroliming.

I saw a girl pick a flower on Malibu’s shore
It was two-toned
When she phoned
I begged her for more
But I don’t connect via land line no more
That power, that flower is dead as a door…

…nail.

Tomorrow’s Friday!

Southpaw Jones presents
If I Had a Million Dollars
Unnecessary products that inexplicably tempt me:

COOL SHOOTERS ICE SHOT GLASS MAKER
$7.99

Bill Passalacqua presents
I am not a smoker…
One man’s reasons for not lighting up in ‘07:

… because I want to be healthy. Jan. 2nd, 2007

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
Doorbell Instructions!:

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

Eric Zorn

Thank you, come again!



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