Southpaw Jones

Archive for January 12th, 2007

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful Friday.

January 12, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Paw Prints, Interesting? 2 Comments →

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Folks seemed to enjoy my list of 63 Reasons that 63 Birds Died in downtown Austin on Monday. Here now, is the complete collection for convenience. Feel free to copy, paste, forward, post, and share with anyone and everyone. Southpawjones.net! Happy Friday!

1. Hollow bones
2. Loneliness
3. Interest Rates
4. Broke Beak Fountain
5. Cancellation of “The OC”
6. Something powerful pressing down
7. Grackle beats sparrow
8. Dreams of providing quills for period films
9. Sparrow beats pigeon
10. Paperwork
11. Oleo
12. Being too graceful for this world
13. Pigeon beats grackle
14. All that incessant flapping
15. Late Fees
16. Introspection
17. “I ran out of songs to sing.”
18. Watched Saddam die, all of life’s goals fulfilled
19. Tryptophan
20. Extreme peckishness
21. Vicious feather mites
22. A big orange cat named Franklin
23. Just jumping on the big bandwagon of bird death
24. A bloody coo
25. Brown paper packages tied up with string
26. Nutella
27. Whiskers on kittens
28. Arranged marriage
29. Early morning power line knife fight. “No one calls me a chicken.”
30. Voluntary marriage
31. Nightingale Syndrome
32. A big ol’ case of the blahs, alright? Are you happy? Just let me be a dead bird, jerk face!
33. Downtown parking
34. A flibbertijibbet!
35. Never gonna beat that dang early bird
36. A will-o’-the wisp!
37. Started to fall, forgot about wings, it happens to the best of us
38. A very disappointed inner chick
39. A clown!
40. Pining for the fjords
41. Diet consisting entirely of breakfast taco leftovers
42. A beak outlook
43. “Just trying something new.”
44. Irrelevance
45. Couldn’t go on living without my 62 best friends
46. 2007 “just didn’t feel right”
47. Two more years of you-know-who
48. Pop rocks in gizzard
49. Reached last page in journal, quite done, you see
50. The disease that will soon wipe out all life on Earth
51. Never gonna catch that Jean Valjean
52. Toxic breast implants
53. An intense desire to “freak people out”
54. Didn’t fear the reaper, should’ve feared the reaper
55. Pre-dawn, walleyed drunk, it’s hard to tell the ground from the sky
56. Despite slammin’ audition, didn’t make it into “Winged Migration.”
57. Domino effect
58. Butterfly effect
59. Bird defect
60. Lost nest egg due to corporate corruption
61. Failed attempt to change name from “Grackle” to “Mega-Rad Falcon of the Café Scene”
62. Peaked in high school
63. It was Monday morning. ‘Nuff said.

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:

I found this odd little diversion here. Move him around if he gets stuck! It’s bound to happen…

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
Quotation Mark Abuse!:

Bill Passalacqua presents
I am not a smoker…
One man’s reasons for not lighting up in ‘07:
…because I’m tired of looking at every freckle and bump on my body and wondering if it’s cancer.
So far I’ve saved $54 (12 days at $4.50/pk)
Jan. 12, 2007