Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Day 2 of the Great Ice Storm of 2007.

You’re a young year, but potent, ’07.

Double-0 7.

Cabin fever setting in. Haven’t left the apartment since Monday night. Well, I took my recycling out, but I kept my eyes closed and wore a body condom, so it doesn’t count.

Watched my DVD copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind yesterday. Excellent cold weather movie. We struggle for reason and ease, trying to recreate that put-the-cylinder-in-the-circle-hole elementary school challenge with our lives, when many times, the most illogical decision is the best, the most fun, the only decision to make.

I took a bath with myself and a pint of Guinness. When, oh when, would I have found the time and craziness to do that without you, Ice Storm?

I dropped a new light bulb on my bathroom floor and found a sliver of it in my foot hours later. My blood looks good…I must be eating right. I walked around like John McClane until I grew faint.

Don’t know how long my supplies will last here. I’ve got 18 cans of tuna, thanks to Costco, but I’ve no bread, and my youngest refuses to go to the store. “Start walking, Coos-Coos,” I say, “You have the most body fat in the whole family, and you do such good math upon reaching the cashier. Get Daddy some almonds, boy!” But he just sits there, sucking on his pacifier, which, by this point, is looking tasty as a twice-baked potato in the Golden Corral they call heaven.

Send a helicopter for us, dear Internet. Bring a loaf of 7-grain and Jennifer Love Hewitt, please.

Bill Passalacqua presents
I am not a smoker…
One man’s reasons for not lighting up in ‘07:

…because according to David Wortman, his term life insurance policy costs that costs $114 per month would cost $540 if he was a smoker!
So far I have saved $76.50
Jan. 17, 2007

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
Presidential Doodles:

Richard Nixon

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Ice-cream is exquisite - what a pity it isn’t illegal.
Voltaire

Southpaw Jones presents
Do it With Style
Fun words to say while belching, stretching, or answering the phone:
STORMDRAIN
FLINCH
CORDIAL
SOLARIUM
WICHITA

Thank you, come again!
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