Southpaw Jones

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

1. All Sonic fast food restaurants need a drive-through. Sometimes, I want a tasty non-Wendy’s, non-BK, non-clown burger, but I don’t want to go back in time to the year 1956. I don’t want to turn my car engine off, but I don’t want to let it idle either. I don’t want to wonder if I have to tip a young woman for not falling down on roller skates with my grub. In the suburb of Houston where I grew up, our Sonic had a drive-through, but I’m beginning to think it is the only one in the world. I miss that option! I understand what y’all’re tying to do, and it’s charming, sure. But if I wanted to half-heartedly smile at someone cheerily and robotically bringing me unhealthy food, I’d get married…in the year 1956.

2. Watch out using “ma’am”! It doesn’t hold the power it used to, and it actually does more harm than good. I used it the other day to politely respond to a fifty-year-old woman, and she said she wasn’t old enough to be called “ma’am.” Um, I’m only thirty, but if some young ‘un wants a free piece of hard candy from me, he darn-well better say “sir.” One used to get major bonus points for saying “ma’am.” Sure, it’s been antiquated for some time, but I figured middle-aged women would still get a kick out of hearing it, especially considering they probably used it when they were kids. I was wrong. It makes them squirmy and suspicious. It’s the M-word to the menopausal demographic. Thanks for leading me astray with that one, Mom.

3. It’s Friday, and I suggest you have a good weekend. Visits to the Gazette have been up this week, and I appreciate everyone who takes a minute to surf my cyber-wave. That includes you, Mr. CIA agent. And you, Mr. Cheney. And all y’all ex-girlfriends. Do you remember the time? When we fell in love? Do you remember the time? When we first met, girl? Sha’mon! Eee-hee. Ham on whole wheat.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure.
James Polk

Online Museum of the Week
Cereal Box Archive:

Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

One who fans a monarch.
Highlight here for answer: [ruler cooler]

If I Had a Million Dollars
Unnecessary products that inexplicably tempt me:

The creepiest candle-holder ever!
Little Joseph
$79.00
Available at http://www.gnr8.biz/product_info.php?products_id=442.

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