Southpaw Jones

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Today is a sour day. I had to come in to work early today. We have traded rain for heat here in Central Texas.

One of the women in this place never fails to call me “little.” I’m thirty years old, and at least a foot taller than her squatty molehill of a body, yet she calls me “little buddy.” “Little pal.” “Little whipper-snapper.”

When she dies of a little incompetence or a little shock from a little look in a little mirror, I’d like to have a little camera installed in her little coffin so I can watch the little worms work their little way…

Oh, that’s a little dark, but I warned you.

Anytime I start the Gazette with “Today is a sour day,” you just turn elsewhere for positive blabbery.

Human beings are destroyers, don’t let anyone tell you different. There’d be a nice, colorful, active, balanced world here if it weren’t for us. Centuries from now, aliens will land on what they’ll call “The Concrete Planet,” where men and women once listened to white teenagers singing awful poetry on public airwaves. They watched movies about cars that turned into talking robots. It’s as if they longed to interact with machinery instead of each other. They used machinery to kill each other from far away.

They liked seafood.

They didn’t care about much.

They avoided their elders.

They just couldn’t figure out how to be happy.

They liked cheese and whine.

Is it because our survival needs are pretty well met around here? Every metropolitan area needs a loose lion, that’s what I say. Threatened survival makes us feel alive! Makes us feel like dancing! I wanna dance the work day away!

A common enemy would help, too. No one really goes for the true common enemies: ignorance, disease, apathy, global warming. They’re just not appealing, and they don’t have faces.

Perhaps we should carve a big frowning, fanged face on the moon, and call it Evil Night Ball the Pompous. Then we can whoop and holler at it all night, shaven monkeys holding hands in the darkness.

Purposeful. Resolved. Diligent. Benign.

Happy.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Of all the creatures that were made he [man] is the most detestable. Of the entire brood he is the only one—the solitary one—that possesses malice. That is the basest of all instincts, passions, vices—the most hateful…He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain…Also—in all the list he is the only creature that has a nasty mind.
Mark Twain

Online Museum of the Week
H & K Wine Caddies:

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I wouldn’t put that green stuff on your hot dog. It’s really nasty, and we’re calling it…
Highlight here for answer: [hellish relish]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

No shows this week!

Thursday, July 19th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St.
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
http://www.cafemundi.com

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