Southpaw Jones

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Happy Friday! Thanks to everyone who came out to Café Mundi last night. Next Thursday is our last one before the northward move!

I’ve been putting together this here Gazette for almost a year now. It’s hard to believe, but the anniversary of Day One is coming up on August 1st. It’s, I’ve, We’ve come a long way, and I’m enjoying it more than ever. My goal is to have 1,000 daily visitors by the end of 2007, and I’m about halfway there.

You can help! Tell your friends that their collection of bookmarks and favorites is not complete without southpawjones.net. Tell them how regular it is, like the 2 am wake-up-and-pee routine of an octogenarian. It arrives like magic in the mid-morning of every weekday, right at the moment when you’re most likely to kill yourself using office supplies.

You get the idea. I went to the trouble of composing some promotional messages for you to share if you like. Here’s how they work: Copy/Paste the first emboldened line into the Subject of an e-mail, Copy/Paste the conclusion into the Body, then simply send it to all your friends and family. Here are seven to choose from:

Your personal evolution…
…is only advanced once or twice a month, but Southpaw Jones updates his Dot Net Gazette every weekday. Look it in the eye!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

I could have sworn…
…I heard you say you were “bored with the Internets.” That girl you were talking to…did she ever call you? I didn’t think she would. You see, girls in bars don’t like whiny blokes. They like The Southpaw Jones Dot Net Gazette. Touch its arm!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

Give a man a fish…
…and The Southpaw Jones Dot Net Gazette. Check on him in five years and send me a report. [Please summarize, though. That last report of yours was a Fitzgeraldian torture.]
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

Most blogs…
…make me feel like one thousand worms just woke up in my ears, nose, and throat. The Southpaw Jones Dot Net Gazette puts them right back to sleep. Scratch its neck!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

It’s maximum carnage!
And it’s all your fault! Before a rabid mob comes to avenge their loved ones, I suggest you take a moment’s solace in The Southpaw Jones Dot Net Gazette. Render it seedless!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

Have you seen her?
Tell me, have you seen her? Oh!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

This weekend…
…will be gone before you know it. Monday morning, check out The Southpaw Jones Dot Net Gazette. You have a choice when you fly!
This message composed and approved for the promotion of Southpawjones.net.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

That’s different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins, multiply that number by 50, then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add them together, and that’s your sentence. I figure i’m gonna have to do about 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven. And 6,000 years is nothing in eternity terms. I could do that standing on my head. It’s like a couple of days here.
Paulie Walnuts, The Sopranos

Online Museum of the Week
Banned License Plates of New York:

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The vice president actually runs everything. I just act like I rule the land. I call it…
Highlight here for answer: [feigning reigning]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, July 26th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St.
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
http://www.cafemundi.com

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.