Southpaw Jones

Archive for July 24th, 2007

Every little thing she does is TUESDAY.

July 24, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? 1 Comment →

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Yes, Tuesday means it’s time for me to admit defeat once again. I did not get an entry included in last week’s Top Ten Contest on the CBS web site. And once again, the winning entries are disappointing. If you ask me, my Top Ten Pet Peeves of The Transformers had more chuckle power.

What’s a man to do? Try, try again. This week’s topic is Top Ten Things Overheard In Line For The New Harry Potter Book, which is easy, because I was actually in line for the book Friday night! Actually, I was in line for Maggie’s book; mine came via Amazon on Saturday. It was quite the carnival at Austin’s best independent bookstore, Bookpeople. There were Harries, Hagrids, Phoenixes, and Snitches. College professors, punks, parents, and tweens. And a little bit of rain. But we had fun.

Now the list:

1. Is that a homeless guy or a Mad-Eye Moody?

2. This be the line for the enchanted phone?

3. No, it’s not infected, and yes, I need a ride home.

4. The scar is real, and these are not dress robes! Now let me grab my US Weekly and get out of here!

5. No, here’s how you mount a broomstick!

6. You say “hur-MY-nee,” I say “hur-MO-wine.” And I’m the freak?

7. It’ll be Joshy’s summer reader, his booster chair, AND his textbook for confronting loss.

8. There’ll all out of butterbeer, Mr. President. And you’re illiterate.

9. In Britain, they call this a really long, nerd-filled “queue.”

10. Again? I bet Kingsley Shacklebolt doesn’t have to pee every fifteen minutes!

Wish me luck! Besame mucho!

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

[W]e have gone far beyond any previous president … in breaking our backs to be nicey-nice to the Cabinet, staff and the Congress … around Christmastime…I have treated them like dignified human beings and not like dirt under my feet.
Richard Nixon, wondering why people don’t like him

Online Museum of the Week
Pimp Cups!:

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I was about to perform the autopsy, when I discovered this man’s large intestine was missing. Do you think someone snatched it? Who would want a…
Highlight here for answer: [stolen colon]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, July 26th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St.
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
http://www.cafemundi.com