Southpaw Jones

Hello. I’m sorry it’s Monday. I did everything I could to stop its arrival. Perhaps a little music will help assuage this morning’s nastiness.

Certain people I could name [Owen Egerton] have recently asked, “If you’re a songwriter, how come there aren’t any songs on your blog?” It’s a fair question, and it deserves an answer. That answer, however, is long, boring, and excuse-laden, exactly the kind of thing I don’t like to include here. So instead of ruminating on the problem, I will focus instead on the remedy: Remedial Recordings.

Get it? The word “remedy” is right there buried in the word itself! AND it means “intended to correct or improve one’s skill in a specified field,” as in “remedial math.” You see, I’ve always wanted to record and present a lot of music online, but I always want it to sound really good and complete and intentional. Perhaps it’s time to loosen the reigns a bit, you know, for the sake of the song.

Remedial Recordings will help get my tunes out into the world, while simultaneously improving my ability to write, perform, and record music. That’s the idea, and today, I present you with my Flipnotics Theme Song. This was the song title challenge from my show with Matt the Electrician two weeks ago at Flipnotics @ the Triangle. We figured, why not celebrate the location of our new weekly show with a tune?

Luckily, when we performed our embryonic compositions on August 16, our friend and local audio archivist Joshua Cain was there to capture the magic. Thanks to him, here is my effort:

Yes, your ears do not deceive, that is a key-tar. This is the kind of fun you’re missing if you’re not at Flipnotics @ the Triangle every Thursday! Please let me know if the audio player does not work on your computer. Feel free to follow along with the lyrics:

Flipnotics Theme Song

I don’t wanna stare
I don’t wanna balk
I don’t wanna hear your parrot talk
I don’t wanna judge
But it’s too late
Your little sister filled out great

I don’t wanna jog
I don’t wanna drive
I don’t wanna see if your dog’s alive
I don’t wanna smoke
Don’t wanna catch a flick
I don’t wanna see your tongue ring trick

I’ve had so much caffeine
Now all I can do is Flipnotics
I’ve had so much Flipnotics
Now all I can do is caffeine

I don’t wanna binge
I don’t wanna purge
I don’t want an update on the surge
I don’t wanna cook
I don’t wanna stretch
I don’t wanna hear your mom kvetch

I’ve had so much caffeine
Now all I can do is Flipnotics
I’ve had so much Flipnotics
Now all I can do is caffeine

I don’t want a Spider
I don’t want no guava
And I don’t want to go to Austin Java
Ee-oh ee-oh let’s go to Flipnotics
Ee-oh ee-oh let’s go, let’s go…

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.
Flash Rosenberg

Online Museum of the Week
Matt Forderer:

Rooster Zebra Contemplating Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I want a machine that will chop up my coffee beans in a more gentle, considerate way. Do you have a…

Highlight here for answer: [kinder grinder]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, August 30th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!