Southpaw Jones

 Mothers don’t like tattoos, especially if they read “I heart the absurdity of it all.”

 Women in my office love to whisper, even if they’re sharing something completely benign and bland, like the weather or the time.

 Far be it from me…Pluto.

 If you took all the tears I’ve cried for unrequited love, put them in a pot, and boiled all the liquid out, I bet you’d have enough salt to make a casserole so salty that one of your dinner guests would call you the Sodium King and kiss your feet sarcastically.

 I am so emotionally addicted to road rage, if everyone started driving perfectly, I’d be furious.

 Who finds runway models attractive? Not me. Without a model plane and a model control tower and little pilot figurines, they aren’t much fun.

 Did the popularity of Pac-Man lead the collective unconscious to the popularity of Ghostbusters?

 “Door hinge” and “your engine” almost rhyme with “orange.”

 If you don’t mind me asking…don’t feel like you have to answer this…I swear I’m not trying to overstep my bounds…can you let me out of this dungeon?

 Without beauty, distraction, dentistry, stupidity, and sleep, there’d be no drool.

Happy Friday! Come back Monday!

Only sick music makes money today.

Friedrich Nietzsche

The Napkin Drawings by Marty Coleman




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Your sled-racing partner may not qualify for the Winter Olympics due to his, um, not being human. How does it feel to slide down a toboggan with a massive feline in tow? Are you afraid of the…

Highlight here for answer: [cougar luger]



Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
8:00 PM
NAKED Calendar Release Party
Hyde Park Theater
Austin, TX
Performing as part of C-Dar Fevar.

Thursday, September 27th, 2007
8:00 PM
Bruce Hughes & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!