Southpaw Jones

It’s Friday, fair reader! Thanks for stopping by. Today, I’m giving everyone some homework for the weekend. I’ll provide a list of characters, and you’ll write a novel that includes them. It’ll be fun!

Jacques Myanmar – evil, cunning, sweats vegetable oil, hopes to save his soul by shaving his forearms regularly, hates clothing, disrobes instantly upon arriving at home, exhibits grace under pressure, exercises pressure when others are graceful.

Annie Clumb – preacher’s daughter, loves to work on cars but refuses to ride in them, flat-footed, obsessed with the return of the Cold War, a morning person, she has written and printed unbiased restaurant reviews since she was five, she is now thirty-two, her readership has peaked at two dozen.

Treylon Clipper – dashing fat man, acquitted following a lengthy trial in which the judge’s official statement read, “Not one single soul in town believes you to be capable or cool enough to steal this amount of cash,” thought to be utterly without talent until cricket was popularized in the U.S.

Ever Triangulated – 5-foot-tall bronze robot, performs menial and accounting tasks for the richest family in town, a notorious chatterbox, loves gossip, racist, programmed as male, dressed as a French maid last Halloween to the delight of all.

Flexi McGrath – daughter of the town’s eccentric inventor, carries bacon around in secret denim pockets, able to fly but only millimeters off the ground, claims to have visited biblical times via her father’s time machine, ate many olives, got sick, returned.

Happy writing! Come back Monday…

The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
Will Cuppy, How to Become Extinct

Again With the Comics




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Every individual fuzzy fruit, dang it!

Highlight here for answer: [each peach]



Thursday, October 4th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!