Southpaw Jones

Lordy, lawdy, it’s Friday. This has somehow been the longest four-day week ever. I need time to recover.

Last night at Flipnotics @ the Triangle was another fun one. Matt the Electrician hits the road next week, and Bruce Hughes will join me for rest of September’s Thursdays. Check it!

Tomorrow, I’ll head to the Saxon Pub to see my friend Ana Egge play a set. She’s a fabulous singer-songwriter with guitar chops and a hypnotizing voice and a healthy soul. I’m honored to have sung some backing vocals on her upcoming record, Lazy Days. That’s right, it’s a collection of covers of songs about slacking, lounging, and wiling away. Look for that on October 22. Her set starts at 10 pm on Saturday night, and I may sit in on a couple songs.

I had a bit of groggy joy this morning watching the Today show. A girl named Kylee Ebbert was kicked off a flight for wearing a revealing outfit that wasn’t very revealing. It’s NEWS! Shocking news! Actually, they’ll do anything to get a hot young woman on camera, and I’ll take any excuse to not get off the couch and go to work.

The best part of the story was when Matt Lauer asked, “Can the airline make this up to you in any way?” Kylee replied, “You know, initially, I really just wanted an apology. At this point, just some acknowledgement even that they were wrong…that would be better.”

Ah, Kylee. I also hope they say they’re sorry, repent, retract, atone, confess, and ask forgiveness. I can’t explain why your humble - almost redundant - demands brought me such delight. I just want to wish you and all your kin and everyone reading this blog a happy, happy Friday.

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.
John F. Kennedy

Soviet Cigarettes Collection




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Your back hurts again? Well, dear, you spend all day riding around on that vehicle that plows up the field. You simply can’t ignore the…

Highlight here for answer: [tractor factor]



Thursday, September 13th, 2007
8:00 PM
Bruce Hughes & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

Tonight, Matt the Electrician and I will converge upon Flipnotics @ The Triangle with guitars, horns, accordions, and xylophones in hand. Don’t miss it, or you’ll regret it with your most sensitive parts: the side of you that can’t bring yourself to kill a spider, the emotional core that makes you cry during movie previews, your adam’s apple, etc.

Tonight’s song title challenge is “Death and the King’s Horseman.” Let me admit to you right now that I have not made any progress. I’ve got ten hours until showtime. Um, do you mind if I use this space for a little brainstorming?

Ok, my first thought is that nothing rhymes with “horseman.”

Nothing except:
• Norseman
• Force, man
• Of course, man
• Hoarse man (which is more of a homonym than a rhyme)

That’s a shame, because “Death and the King’s Horseman” would make a good tag line at the end of every verse.

There are two things you can count on
And two more I’ll endorse, man
Weak coffee and strong women
Death and the King’s Horseman

No, I don’t like it. Another problem with this title is that I prefer an accented syllable to fall at the end of a line. If HORSE-man were pronounced horse-MAN, I’d be a lot more comfortable working with it. How ‘bout starting a verse or chorus with the title? A love song, perhaps?

Death and the King’s Horseman
Tickle each other in the graveyard
Death says, “I want a divorce, man,”
But he’s just fooling like a knave-tard.

I don’t like that either, but I will seriously consider using “knave-tard” in my everyday verbal jabs.

Perhaps this situation calls for less of a literal inclusion of words and more of a thematic roundabout. Using that approach:

DEATH

Ooo, it’s a scary one. No one wants to admit they’re going to croak. Everyone wants to be immortal, yet no one seems too eager to wake up in the morning.

Ok, so maybe I’m going to die, but at least I’m a part of something immortal, right? An ideal, a religion, a country, etc.? That makes me feel better.

It also helps me sleep knowing that my eternal team is better than your eternal team. Just to prove it, I’ll send over my army to kill you.

THE KING’S HORSEMAN

What is this guy? A messenger? A hitman? A caretaker at the stable? A large, freakish mutant that the king rides around on for kicks?

What are his motives? What’s his angle? Does he use hair gel? Does he dream of more? Does he dream of less? Where did he misplace that list of reasons he loves his horse?

Does he know that Death is

right

around

the

corner?

One of the things I did to get through that was to think hard about times in my past when I had judged people too harshly because they had a problem I didn’t have. And I promised myself I’d never do that again, and I’m trying to keep that promise.
Bill Clinton

Soviet Cigarettes Collection




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I’m very sensitive about my weight. It’s like I’ve got thick insides but…

Highlight here for answer: [thin skin]



Thursday, September 6th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

I managed to Netflix a superb documentary last week: Off the Charts: The Song Poem Story. It is the exploration of a little known musical subculture wherein ordinary folks send in lyrics in hopes of hitting the big time.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who submits receives a letter saying, “We love it! We think you’ve got something great here, and we want to make it a hit song. Send us $250 for recording costs, and you’ll be on your way to music industry success.” Something like that.

Then, these men in Nashville or Los Angeles or somewhere slap some music behind the lyrics, record the song in one take, send the recording to the hopeful poet, and that’s
pretty
much
the
end of the story.

All good documentaries are both funny and sad, as is life, and this one is no different. Both the hopefuls and the songmakers are a bit odd and pathetic. What emerges, though, is that they all have created a strange, compelling, uniquely American art form throughout the past century. No less than 200,000 of these song poems formed as the result of what is essentially a scam.

Songs about aliens, Elvis, elves, bicycles, moms, dads, cats, dogs, martial arts, isolation, romance, and all kinds and colors of Jesus. These songs feature absurd, often insane lyrics put to paint-by-numbers music, and yet, there is something more human and unpredictable than anything in a mainstream record store.

Does that mean I could spend all day listening to them? Um, no.

I recommend the film, especially if you enjoy contemplating the nature of art and creativity. Witness The American Dream: dreamers taking money from other dreamers and pumping out some unbelievable tunes.

Wanna hear some samples from the soundtrack? Try these:

NON-VIOLENT TAEKWONDO TROOPERS

THE THING

ANNIE OAKLEY

The beauty of song-poems is that they are a result of the intersection, or collision, of ordinary people’s expressions and the desires of musicians/businesses to make a quick buck, making the music as fast as they can, usually in one take. When those two forces combine, they create strangely compelling songs that are unlike anything you’ve ever heard.
Jamie Meltzer, flimmaker

Soviet Cigarettes Collection




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

There weren’t morgues around when Cain killed his brother, but if there were, you could call the toe tag an…

Highlight here for answer: [abel label]



Thursday, September 6th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

I took yesterday off, and I’m out of it this morning. It was a good, solid three-day weekend. It’s funny, though, you can rest and relax all weekend long, but if you only get five hours of sleep before the inevitable return to work, you don’t feel too terribly refreshed. Such is me.

So it’s good for a blogger to admit he has nothing to say, right? Nice and humanizing, I think.

I still hate the word “blogger,” by the way. Here are some words I like this morning:

 Bedspread
 Oglethorpe
 Scallywag
 Tremulous
 Hawk
 Flax
 Ingratiate
 Whisk

Perhaps I shall try to use them all in conversation today.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future.
Danielle Steel

Online Museum of the Week
Soviet Cigarettes Collection



Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

She discovered radium and polonium, and she won two Nobel Prizes, but she’s very angry right now. I’d leave, unless you want to be a victim of her…

Highlight here for answer: [Curie fury]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, September 6th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!