Southpaw Jones

My latest personal cultural education and rejuvenation project involves an MP3-CD of the Month. That’s what my car plays, MP3-CDs, which hold a few dozen songs.

Each month, I’ll put together a collection of things I love, things I think I might love, and things people tell me I should love. I listen to it in the car when I’m not checking in on NPR. September’s disc included Glen Campbell, The Flaming Lips, and yes, a lot of Aerosmith.

I was a huge fan of the band in junior high, right up until someone broke into our house and stole every last one of my Aerosmith CDs. I never replaced them, and I never recovered my enthusiasm. I moved on to They Might Be Giants and never looked back.

Fifteen years later, I’m finally ready to face those old demons. Give me some Angel, Sweet Emotion, What it Takes, Love in an Elevator, and I feel young and dumb and alive and naive once more.

Now the list:

1. Steven Tyler is neither man nor woman, white nor black, human nor alien.

2. Joe Perry has a unique, recognizable lead guitar style. His spends a lot of his solos on the lower half of the neck, playing mid-range notes instead of constant, stereotypical, ear-piercing soprano bends.

3. Their recordings are loud but never lazy, full but never fuzzy.

4. They have maintained a rather consistent mainstream presence for over thirty years, gathering up new, young fans every time they decide that’s what they want to do.

5. “Walk This Way” with Run-D.M.C.! Groundbreaking rap-rock combination thanks to producer Rick Rubin!

6. Steven Tyler loves to sing harmonies with himself in the studio, and he never sings a chorus the same way twice.

7. Their logo is pretty cool, you have to admit.

8. They used to do lots of drugs, which is cool for rock stars, but now they’re completely sober, which is cool for middle-aged men.

9. The same five guys have been together (with the exception of one major break-up) since 1973!

10. They directly influenced Guns N’ Roses, Bon Jovi, Nirvana, and many other contributors to hard rock history.

Oh, and they never took/take themselves too seriously! That’s #11. America’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band? I can’t say for certain, but I’d certainly argue the point before a jury of reasonable folks.

We believed that anything worth doing was worth overdoing.
Steven Tyler

suicide food: animals that desire to be eaten. sickening.




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You can see the vineyard out the window there. These are the ultra-deluxe barrels in which we store our best grape’s juices. In this closet you’ll notice the evening gowns and tuxedos we wear when we’re working in the field or here in the basement. We think it makes the product taste better. What do you think of our…

Highlight here for answer: [winery finery]



Thursday, October 11th, 2007
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!