Southpaw Jones

Archive for October 16th, 2007

Randominican Republic of Tryin’. Uh.

October 16, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

• If you take local news seriously – and why the heck not? – sports should take up about 17% of your consciousness.

• Let’s assume that I judge people in a cheese-shredding contest. Let’s also assume that I’m very, very good at scoring contestants. I suppose that would make me a Great Grater Grade-ist. Who dares to disagree?

• Farts are still funny, and ever shall they be.

• I am a karate coach, and honestly, I get a kick out of you.

• When I used to drive long distances alone as a “touring” “musician,” I would often keep myself awake by slapping myself, pulling my hair, and tickling the roof of my mouth with my tongue.

• Growing up is simply the process of learning to function without crying half the time.

• I’ve got fiber in my diet, a fiver in my wallet, and a Fivel in my animated mouse-based immigration propaganda films.

• I come from a dysfunctional family. My Mother Earth is falling apart, and my Heavenly Father is abusive. Don’t get me started on Big Brother and Sister Christian.

Self-control means wanting to be effective at some random point in the infinite radiations of my spiritual existence.
Franz Kafka

Snow Pictures by Microscope

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I want a bike for two, but I don’t care about color or shape or style or accessories. Just give me any…

Highlight here for answer: [random tandem]

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Zach Scott
Austin, TX
dickmonologues.com
Kicking off the show with “Women Yes Sir.”