Southpaw Jones

I almost forgot that it’s Veterans Day because I’m here at work. I went to the beach in November and got a really weird sunburn. Extreme!

The list:

• I realize I killed quite a few flunkies and henchmen on my path to the big bad guy here. Apologies all around!

• It wasn’t until the fourth second of their fifth kiss that she realized men have value beyond sparring partners, castle climbers, and targets for the ol’ rotten pear-toss.

• I don’t believe in much, boys, but I have a feeling this moonshine just might burn all our sins away.

• And that, you perverts, is where babies come from.

• Now that we’ve saved Christmas, what are we going to do with Santa’s lifeless body?

• So there’s my story, in a 90-minute nutshell. It’s a love story, really, the story of my love for my wife as portrayed by Hollywood actors much more attractive than us.

• Remember, this is no forest for little children. If you two ever come back here, you better prepare yourselves for wilder creatures, way-impossibler odds, better effects, and new British character actors. Let’s say Summer 2010!

• I decided, there on the trolley, that my folly was Mollie, by golly. The End.

There was that law of life, so cruel and so just, that one must grow or else pay more for remaining the same.
Norman Mailer

Johanna’s Tambourine Art Inspired by Stevie Nicks




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I go down to the beach and reflect deeply on the birds there. I ponder pelican and I…

Highlight here for answer: [mull gull]

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
Austin, TX
dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!

Thursday, November 8th, 2007
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!