Southpaw Jones

Songmaker • Whimsicologist • Austinite
Subscribe

Archive for December 7th, 2007

30 Gift Ideas for Enemies and Nemeses

December 07, 2007 By: Southpaw Jones Category: List No Comments →

1. Pro-Bacterial Soap

2. Grout

3. Gout

4. Port

5. Personal Quagmire Catalyst Spray [PQCS]

6. False Sense of Security

7. Unregulated Flubber

8. Big ol’ country hug-and-a-half

9. “How to Buzz Off” by Leif M.E. Aloan

10. Malaise

11. A modus operandi and a motive on a night when “I was just watching TV alone, I swear!”

12. Gift certificate from a china shop in a bull

13. A long, hard look at oneself

14. 24 hours of political coverage and a razor blade

15. Fluorescent darkness

16. A 30-foot RV and 2 gallons of gas

17. Swift chop to the medulla oblongata

18. “How to Tithe More” by Jen R. Russ

19. The Bush Legacy

20. Ye Olde Sweat Shoppe

21. 10 Lords a-Leaping

22. 9 Traipsers Traipsing

23. 8 Tweens a’Tweening

24. 7 Rednecks Necking

25. 6 Yankees Yanking

26. 5 Moldy Things

27. 4 Calling Creditors

28. 3 French ‘tudes

29. 2 Turtle Gloves (or Fertile Doves)

30. And a Partridge Fam. DVD!


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

If you’ll just spin around in the water really fast, you won’t sink. Try it! It’s a technique known as…

Highlight here for answer: [rotation flotation]


Tiny Flowers Vintage Condom Package Design




Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.
Richard Lewis



EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
Do Share! These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • Netvouz
  • DZone
  • ThisNext
  • MisterWong
  • Wists
  • StumbleUpon
  • PopCurrent
  • blogmarks
  • Netscape
  • YahooMyWeb
  • Technorati