Southpaw Jones

This falls in the category of Things I’ve Recently Learned. The world of television prepares for the high definition revolution, wherein visions will be crisper and sounds will be clearer. Pancake betrayed! Apparently, the world of professional wrestling, wherein image is of the utmost importance, will make some severe adjustments. Here are three new rules for high-def handed down from the management of World Wrestling Entertainment:

1. Work stiffer! You know all that magic of putting your boot in someone’s face without hurting them? We’re going to need that to look even better. If you could get your boot print to stay on the other guy’s cheek for a few seconds, that’d be great.

2. No more in-ring communication! You can’t tell your “opponent” your next move, because people with amazing, crystal clear speakers will be able to hear you at home. I don’t know what to tell you. Plan out every move before the match? Learn some kind of sign language, or slap each other in Morse code.

3. No more spray-on tans! If you’re going to paint yourself orange before the show, make sure it doesn’t run. This will look awful in high-definition. Please move to Florida and drench yourself in actual sunshine as much as possible.

I feel like we’ve all learned something valuable today.

as reported in The New York Times

February 12, 1908
DEFENDING THE ALAMO.
Patriotic Society’s President, Refusing to Transfer Building, Holds It
Without food and water for over 80 hours, Miss Adina Dezavalia, President of the Dezavalia Chapter, Daughters of the Republic, is still in possession of the Alamo.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I can name all the parts of the earth out loud, from the core to the crust. I can also recall the sections of the atmosphere, and if you peel an onion, I’ll count each freshly revealed stratum. That’s how I got the nickname…

Highlight here for answer: [layer sayer]


Ladies’ Quartets of Lake Erie Region 17

Vocal Bling

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely

ALONE ON VALENTINE’S DAY
Thursday, February 14, 2008
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
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