Southpaw Jones

Archive for February 19th, 2008

We Need to Talk

February 19, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

I just don’t know what to do with you anymore, son. I don’t know what you’re thinking, and I don’t know why you can’t stay out of trouble.
Is it your new group of friends?
No?
Is it that girlfriend of yours?
No?
Is it your girlfriend’s new group of friends?
No?
Is it your completely legal and socially acceptable prescription medication?
No?
Is it the illegal drugs from my closet that you stole and put in your closet?
No?
Is it terrorism?
No?
Catholicism?
No?
The English language?
No?
The sense that you’re the punch line of some cosmic joke?
No?
Jeans too tight?
No?
Backpack to heavy?
No?
Bad shrimp?
No?
Ungrateful?
No?
The birds and the bees?
No?
The Fox and the Hound? I know they make noise near your window all night.
No?
Alien abduction?
No?
Alien rejection?
No?
The Heat of the Night?
No?
Growing Pains?
No?
Full House?
No?
Family Matters?
No?
Family Ties?
No?
The Facts of Life?
No?
Mr. Belvedere? Did he touch you?
No?
Well, I’m out of ideas. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be at the pub.

as reported in The New York Times

February 19, 1908
DROVE TACK IN BOY’S TONGUE.
Woman Teacher Sought Confession of Lying from Pupil — Fined $10.
CANAL DOVER, Ohio — Accused of driving a tack through the tongue of ten-year-old Simpson Fowler, a pupil in the school of the Tuscarawas County Children’s Home, Miss Clara Sterling to-night entered a plea of guilty, and was fined $10 and costs by Mayor Dedenbacher.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The very last LP record in history comes out today. I guess I can throw away my turntable and needle, because that’s the…

Highlight here for answer: [final vinyl]

Eyescapes

As long as our government is administered for the good of the people, and is regulated by their will; as long as it secures to us the rights of persons and of property, liberty of conscience, and of the press, it will be worth defending.
Andrew Jackson

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8 pm
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2008
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Opening Bell Coffee
1409 S. Lamar Suite #012
DALLAS, TX
75215
214.565.0383
www.openingbellcoffee.com/