Southpaw Jones

What does FAQ mean?
Frequently Asked Questions.

Are you my mother?
No.

Are you gay?
Send me a picture and I’ll let you know.

Why do you do this blog every weekday?
I’m not sure. It simultaneously builds and destroys my self-esteem like a good woman.

Have you ever glommed onto anything?
Yes, harmonicas and boobs.

Have you ever gleaned anything from anywhere?
I’ve gleaned the basic meta-narrative of the TV show Friends just by watching 30 seconds of each episode.

Can you gleek at will?
Unfortunately, no.

Do people really ask you these questions?
Yes.

Frequently?
No.

as reported in The New York Times

February 27, 1908
$12,000 NECKLACE LOST.
PALM BEACH, Fla. — A $12,000 pearl and diamond necklace was reported to have been lost this afternoon in Poinciana Garden, and a $500 reward was this evening offered for its return to “Frank of New York.”

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I meant do discuss physical and emotional stress in my speech, but I ran out of time! Did the words “tautness” or “strain” even come out of my mouth? Did I even…

Highlight here for answer: [mention tension]


Hilarious Science Fair Experiments

Then as we linger at luncheon here
O’er many a dainty dish,
Let us drink anew to the time when you
Were a tadpole and I was a fish.
Langdon Smith

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com