Southpaw Jones

Charlton Heston, you lived well past eighty
Your roles were iconic and weighty
As tough as John Wayne
We all felt your pain
When those damn dirty apes halved our Lady
LINK

There once was a thing called recession
That suffers the utmost repression
It made people cranky
When Fed Chief Bernanke
Finally used the expression
LINK

When school girls have parties, they tape it
Now six southern teens can’t escape it
They disliked one girl’s face
It’s a criminal case
‘Cause they violently tried to reshape it
LINK

A text message sent from above!
(By which I mean the federal gov.)
If we face tragedy
It’ll say “OMG!
Go spend money on people you love!”
LINK

as reported in The New York Times

April 11, 1908
FLYING LOG KILLS TWO.
ENFIELD, Mass. — W.H. Bishop, one of the best known lumbermen in Massachusetts, and Miss Wilhelmina Weston, 19 years old, were instantly killed by a huge birch log which jumped the slide of a portable sawmill this afternoon. Bishop bought large timber acreage last Fall and recently began to convert it into lumber.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You sure do know how to delight old fogeys! How did you become such a…

Highlight here for answer: [geezer pleaser]


Lost In Translation - English Gone Wrong

Preparation for war is a constant stimulus to suspicion and ill will.
James Monroe

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