Southpaw Jones

The year is 2008. Robots put on our socks for us. Nano-drones monitor our breathing and our blood. Optical implants allow our mothers to see what we see twenty-four hours a day until they fall out like tears at the age of thirty-five. Music emits from our ear lobes, and song selections are based on the clothes we have on at the time. I’m not complaining. I love technology, and this is an exciting time to be alive.

But sometimes I yearn. Do you ever yearn? Do ya?

Sometimes I stay in a hot shower so long I can drop half a dime in my wrinkly fingertips.

Sometimes I drive by and throw an egg at city hall. Certainly not a chicken egg, more like a tiny sphere of caviar, but still.

Sometimes I want to take busses all around the country until I meet twelve men named Moses.

Sometimes I just have to be a solo singer-songwriter.

You can witness me doing just that in Austin tonight. Matt the Electrician has gone to perform in Alaska, and he said I could play romantic songs, serious songs, silly songs, and seriously silly songs while he’s away. I’m looking forward to it.

One of my goals for the evening is to resurrect my long dormant search for The Perfect Medley of Original and Cover Music in the American Key of G. I’d like to push it past 25 minutes this time. That doesn’t seem like something you should miss, so come on down!

THURSDAY, APRIL 17
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Saturday in Dallas, I’ll open for one of my heroes, Will Kimbrough. I’ve been enjoying his amazing guitar-picking since I lived in Nashville ten years ago, and he played with Todd Snider. He is not one of those guitarists who plays notes just because they are technically difficult and impressive. He plays notes because they sound beautiful or true or mean or whatever fits the song. I later found out he’s an amazing singer-songwriter, too, so I started to snatch up all his solo records. His last album, Americanitis, was political without being yucky, a true feat. He writes from the perspective of a family man, also without being yucky. He’s the real deal.

Will is not coming to Austin this time around, but I saw that he was heading to the wonderful Bend Studio in Dallas, and I had to go. I asked to open the show so I would have a “professional excuse” to drive up there and witness a great American play great American music. If you live in the area, you should join us. I wholeheartedly recommend it.

SAUTRDAY, APRIL 19
8:00 PM
Opening for Will Kimbrough
Bend Studio
5014 McKinney Ave. 75205
DALLAS, TX
214.841.9642
www.bendstudio.com
$20, Doors at 7 pm.

That’s the news from Lake Southpaw. Don’t forget to check southpawjones.com every weekday for your dose of Vitamin SPJ.

as reported in The New York Times

April 17, 1908
CIRCUS ELEPHANTS IN PANIC.
Explosion Scatters Them In California City — Country Is Terrorized.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Sometimes I wonder if he is actually preparing for the big fight physically. We see him go into the gym every day, but I’ve never seen footage of him working out or sparring. Is he just psyching us all out? Do you think he could be…

Highlight here for answer: [feigning training]


Model Railroad Slums

When Barack Obama met Hillary Clinton for another televised Democratic candidates’ debate last night, it was more than a step forward in the 2008 presidential election. It was another step downward for network news — in particular ABC News, which hosted the debate from Philadelphia and whose usually dependable anchors, Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos, turned in shoddy, despicable performances.
Tom Shales LINK

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SAUTRDAY, APRIL 19
8:00 PM
Opening for Will Kimbrough
Bend Studio
5014 McKinney Ave. 75205
DALLAS, TX
214.841.9642
www.bendstudio.com
$20, Doors at 7 pm.