Southpaw Jones

You know, Those People Who Access Electronic Devices for More than 30 Seconds During a Live Concert (If They Aren’t Trying to Find a Friend or Take Professional Photos or Run the Soundboard)

• What’s your problem?

• Why are you here?

• What planet are you from and what do they eat there?

• What’s it like to be a part of THAT generation?

• You didn’t pay to get in here, did you?

• Has anyone ever told you how bright and distracting that thing is?

• If I smacked you, would anyone come to your defense?

• Would you stare at that thing during a movie?

• How long have you been playing Tetris? You’re pretty good.

• Would you use that thing during a funeral?

• How long would YouTube survive without your shaky video and horrible audio of half of this song?

• Is this huge crowd and incredibly loud rock show distracting you?

• Doesn’t your phone have memory?

• I mean, won’t those stupid messages be there for you after the show?

• Have you ever lived in the moment?

• If so, did you find the experience objectionable somehow?

as reported in The New York Times

April 21, 1908
SACRILEGE BEFORE THE POPE.
Non-Catholics Kneel at Altar and Receive Communion from His Hands.
ROME — From the time of St. Peter to that of Plus X. the history of Papacy fails to record such a grave sacrilege is that which was committed yesterday inside the Vatican, under the eyes of the Pontiff himself.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

So you can eat just one of those Hershey’s chocolate-covered caramel things? I’m impressed. There’s no way I could stop at a…

Highlight here for answer: [solo Rolo]


Ice Cream People

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.
George S. Patton

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com