Southpaw Jones

• If you’ve ever mowed your astroturf and found a slave ship, you might be a redneck surrealist.

• If your rainbow gazelle eats domino soup from Taco Bell, you might be a redneck surrealist.

• If you can belch sparkles and say your name backwards in Choctaw, you just might be a redneck surrealist.

• You might be a redneck surrealist if your coffee table was once a continental shelf.

• If you wake up with a black eye, a hickey, and a transparent, trapezoidal eye-patch, you might look into considering the fact that you could be a redneck surrealist.

• Chances are you’re a redneck surrealist if you spit sunflower seed shells just to watch them give birth to Lilliputians who play postmodern bluegrass inside the flat tire on your roof.

• If you’ve ever parked a Camaro in a tie-dyed sarcophagus, you might have a leaning toward the cultural demographic known as redneck surrealist.

• In certain circles, you could consider yourself a redneck surrealist if your flying tractor runs on fish bait and marital frustration.

as reported in The New York Times

April 22, 1908
STUDENT CHORUS ON STRIKE NOW
New York University Show in Danger of “Fizzling” Unless Somebody Backs Down.
Heedless of the awful fiasco their action may cause, the member of the chorus of “Cap’n Kidd and Company,” the ‘Varsity show of New York University, which has been billed to open at Carnegie Lyceum on Friday night, have gone on strike because their names were left off the programme to make room for a belated advertisement.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

This paint pen is too light! Too light! Matt Lauer won’t be able to read this through the window! I need something bold. Does anyone have a…

Highlight here for answer: [darker marker]


Ice Cream People

Good friendship is like an outdoor cat. Just hangin’ out. It can take care of itself. It can be gone for a couple of days, it’ll come back, no big deal. . . Once in a while it’ll get eaten by a coyote.
Adam Carolla

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com