Southpaw Jones

One of those national morning shows featured West Virginia primary voters today, and one woman came right out and said, “I won’t vote for Obama because he’s a Muslim.” It’s so refreshing to see that even Democrats can be ignorant, paranoid sacks.

By the rule of Unique Name = Muslim, here are some other definite sleeper cell members:

• Oprah Winfrey
• Uma Thurman
• Alabama
• Fozzie Bear
• Aretha Franklin
• Carrot Top
• Yoda
• Winona Ryder
• Mutual of Omaha
• Yao Ming

By the way, my favorite part of all this silliness is the Obama Muslim myth paradoxically combined with the Reverend Wright controversy: “The minister of his Christian church is angry and wild, so we can’t vote for him, plus he’s a Muslim!” Could it be he’s an alien posing as a Muslim who attends a Christian church just for the good tunes? I think you’ve got to pick one. If the church is a cover for decades of plotting to put a Muslim in the White House, we can safely ignore the Reverend Wright stuff. Obama has just been sitting through those sermons in a trancelike state thinking, “Destroy America. Bring down the infidel. Make honkeys in West Virginia suffer!” However, if you think the Rev. Wright controversy has more legs, you should probably forget about the Muslim subplot.

That’s my free advice to the mayonnaise sandwich-eating sister-kissing racists of America. But for the record, a secret terrorist Black Panther president could do no worse than George W. Bush. What’s he gonna do? Start an unnecessary, expensive war with a dictator that Muslims deem secular, make a ton of money for Middle East oil nations, and sit on his hands domestically? Think about it. It’s always the one you least suspect.

So ends my political rant for the month.

as reported in The New York Times

May 13, 1908
“SWEETBREADS FOR BRAINS.”
Roosevelt’s Latest Attack on a Senator Angers His Colleagues.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Seems like folks always go Benedict Arnold and betray their government around this time of year. Must be…

Highlight here for answer: [treason season]


LSD vs Alcohol vs Tree

Which do I prefer? Sex or chess? It depends on the position.
Boris Spassky

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8 pm
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2008
8:00 PM
Oma Gruene’s Backyard Bier Garden & Wine Cellar
1263 Gruene Rd 78130
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX
1-830-626-6543
www.omagruene.com/bier.html
________________________________________________________________
WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com

El Trip to West Texas, May 1-5, 2008