Southpaw Jones

I’ll perform a special solo show Thursday night at Flipnotics @ the Triangle, as Matt the Electrician is out o’ town. Come on down at 8 pm for the purest Paw possible.

Yes, I watch LOST. It’s fun. Mysterious. It’s a brain tickler and a heart manipulator. I’ll admit it isn’t a perfect art form. For instance, the more it becomes about People on an Island, the less it becomes about people on an island. And every long-awaited answer comes with six new annoying questions. As a result, it invites armchair theorizing (“futon guessing” to those just out of college). Since there is no episode this week, and the season finale is next week, I thought I’d share my hypotheses. My apologies to those who don’t give a rat’s patchouli.

1. Misplaced

Charles Widmore LOST his wallet, cell phone, and passport on the island, and perennial prankster Ben Linus keeps using his credit cards and calling his ex-girlfriends. Widmore can’t get leave the country without his passport, but he has yet to be satisfied with his picture. He is working out, tanning, and experimenting with lighting schemes, but until he gets the perfect passport photo, he sends flawed representatives to reclaim his man purse for him.

2. The Number(s)

If you call (481) 516-2342, someone will tell you what the heck is going on with this show.

3. Imagineer

We are looking into the imagination of a young boy named Jacob playing with various action figures in his room. The island is a pile of dirty clothes that he has come to love dearly. Every time his father (Widmore) tries to clean it up, he moves it to a different location in the room. It’s very difficult to keep a pile of clothes together in transit with several action figures positioned strategically on top. The black smoke monster is a rather vicious family cat who chews up unrepentant toys. The boy has to take asthma medication every 108 minutes. He sees purple if he doesn’t take it.

as reported in The New York Times

May 21, 1908
SHOT STUDENT FOR BURGLAR.
Two Columbia Boys Try Robbery for Fun — Policeman Shot One.
Policeman John Hurton of the West 125th Street Station saw two youths working last night at the door of the little shanty at 123d Street and Riverside Drive, where old John Morris sells soda, candy, and tobacco. Hurton ran toward the youths, who saw him coming and took to their heels.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I absolutely must get 9 more minutes of sleep after my alarm goes off. As much as I try to avoid it, I can’t help but…

Highlight here for answer: [use Snooze]


Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

In order to hold your faith intact be sure it’s kept unsullied by fact.
Donald E. Westlake

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
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WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com
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FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
9:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant St. 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com
Doors open at 8:00pm