Southpaw Jones

Yes, I’ll perform solo tonight at Flipnotics @ the Triangle. I have my work cut out for me when Matt the Electrician is out of town. I attempt to compensate for his absence by standing up on stage, wearing a button-down shirt, pulling out half-hour medleys the key of G, and singing a karaoke version of Lady in Red. In honor of that Grade A pop song, I have cyber-translated its lyrics from English to German, then from German to English. The result is the following bit of poetry. You can find the original lyrics here. Come on out to the show at 8 pm, if you live within 300 miles of Austin.

Lady in the Red

I have you never seen to look thus attractive, how you did this evening.
I never saw you to shine so bright.
I never saw thus many men to ask you whether you wanted to dance.
They look for a small for romance, half of probability given.
I have never that dress, which you carry
Or which high points in your hair seen, which get caught your eyes.
I was blind.

The lady in the red dances to cheek with me, to the cheek.
There is nobody here.
it is straight you and I.
It is, where I would like to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side.
I never forget the way, which you look this evening.

I have you never seen to look thus wonderful, how you did this evening.
I never saw you to shine so bright. They were amazing.
I have to never wish to be thus many people seen by your side there.
And as you to me and smiled turned, took they mean away breath.
I never had such a feeling, such a feeling of the complete and final love, as I do this evening.

The lady in the red dances to cheek with me, to the cheek.
There is nobody here.
It is straight you and I.
It is, where I would like to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side.
I never forget the way, which you look this evening.
I never forget the way, which you look this evening.
(I love you.)

as reported in The New York Times

May 22, 1908
CELEBRATES 107TH BIRTHDAY.
Woman Inmate of Jewish Home Says She Saw Napoleon.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I heard there was an odd handgun made of fine quartz glassware. Perhaps Indiana Jones can go looking for this…

Highlight here for answer: [crystal pistol]


Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing. Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
Oscar Wilde

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
SOLO TONIGHT!
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
9:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant St. 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com
Doors open at 8:00pm