Southpaw Jones

So ends Memorial Day weekend. I enjoyed myself, scoring some fun in the sun, good food and good mood. That sunshine has to travel 93,000,000 miles to get to us. The least we can do is step out to welcome it from time to time.

Maggie and I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Saturday night. My tendency is to reserve criticism until everyone in the world has seen the movie. I wouldn’t have wanted someone to reduce my good will before I stepped into the theater, because I was going to see it no matter what. Then again, if someone had accurately described what I was in for, I could have saved 8 bucks and a great deal of head scratching.

So if you want to see it, perhaps you should skip down to the next section of today’s episode. If you’re teetering, I must insist that you rent Raiders of the Lost Ark or Last Crusade and enjoy that old magic instead. I wish I had. Those movies have pacing, character development, dialog, intrigue, mythology, and an epic feel that is sorely lacking in Crystal Skull.

This new movie is a mess and a half.

I walked in with a rock-solid mountain of good vibes and enthusiasm, and the film eroded it down to a molehill long before the credits rolled.

What happened?

What the heck happened?

Will George Lucas ever be involved in anything good again?

Did Spielberg actually approve the final cut of this thing?

Why did he insist on real stuntmen and film yet fill the thing up with crappy CGI anyway? Why did it look so glossy, expensive, and cheap at the same time?

Were there any characters in that movie?

Indy just happened upon that fake town where that big thing happened? Why did the first 20 minutes even happen?

Why couldn’t this movie have been more like Iron Man? That’s just a dumb summer movie, but it’s also fun, entertaining, and somewhat human.

Why all the imperiled crotch jokes?

Why not cut out two or three of the sidekicks and focus on the title character?

This Indy sequel places fourth behind Temple of Doom. I’m glad I saw it opening weekend, but I hope I never have to watch it again. That’s all I have to say about that.

as reported in The New York Times

May 27, 1908
WISHED HE’D DIE, AND HE DID.
Brother Expired After His Sister Said She Hoped He’d Drop Dead.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Oh, that pre-Christian Celtic priest is so graceful! His movements are smooth and unrestrained. Have you ever seen such a…

Highlight here for answer: [fluid druid]


Anteater Coolness

I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you — Nobody — Too?
Emily Dickinson

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
9:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant St. 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com
Doors open at 8:00pm