Southpaw Jones

• Kittens and Socks

• Kaleidoscope Now

• The Horizon

• Shiny Things on Dull Backgrounds

• Untraceable Political Gossip

• The Cleavage Channel

• Righteous Indignation 24/7

• Competitive Pizza Dough Tossing

• Just Grover

• The Napping Pope Channel

as reported in The New York Times

June 30, 1908
909-FOOT SKYSCRAPER TO TOWER ABOVE ALL
Architects File Plans for New Equitable Life Building Here 62 Stories High.
1,059 FEET TO FLAGPOLE TIP
Eiffel Tower the Only Structure Higher
Site at Broadway and Cedar, Nassau, and Pine Streets.
If plans which were filed yesterday with Building Superintendent Murphy are approved and permission to build is granted, the towering Singer Building and the Metropolitan Life tower will be put in the shade by the projected new building, planned to stand on the block bounded by Broadway, Nassau, Pine, and Cedar Streets, the site of the present building of the Equitable Life Assurance Society.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Doc, what I need is an invigorating medicine that will help with this recurring condition of mine. Just write me a prescription for some of that…

Highlight here for answer: [chronic tonic]


Passive-Aggressive Notes

Pop music is probably the only art form that is totally dependent for its success on the general public. The more people buy a record, the more successful it is - not only commercially but artistically.
Manfred Mann

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX
www.dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Karl Rove has gone and called Barack Obama “arrogant.”

Oh, yes, it bears repeating.

Karl Rove has gone and called Barack Obama “arrogant.”

Wow. I just need to let that seep into my brain and swirl around a little bit.

Karl Rove has gone and called Barack Obama “arrogant.” He actually said it like he personally thinks it’s a bad thing. Karl Rove. This man either has the self-awareness of my toaster, or he truly has planet-sized balls of bullet-proof platinum.

I know it’s a Friday, and I try to avoid political gibberish on this site, but I just can’t get my mind off this one. You see, what’s odd is that KARL ROVE IS THE SECOND MOST ARROGANT MAN ON THE PLANET, AND HE GOT THE FIRST-PLACE KING “ELECTED” TWICE! But since he completely fouled up the 2006 election and “resigned,” I guess he gets to play commentator and call other people arrogant now.

He’s actually using an approach that democrats should have used in 2000 and 2004 to defeat George W. Bush. They should have been direct and said, “Bush is not a real Texan, he’s a privileged elitist, he’s not smart, he has failed at every venture in his life, he will destroy America, and he’s also arrogant.” But no, they had to play nice, so Rove gets to use that word now.

Believe this:

If Albert Einstein were to run for president, Karl Rove would call him “smarty pants.”

If Mother Teresa were to run for president, Karl Rove would call her “goody two shoes.”

If Helen Keller were to run for president, Karl Rove would claim that “she has no vision and she doesn’t listen to voters.”

If Jesus were to run for president, Karl Rove would call him a communist and claim that he “interferes with nature and disappears for mysterious three-day weekends.”

If Karl Rove were to run for president, Karl Rove would call himself “a bloated boiled egg of cynicism, hot air, and Dungeon Master gravitas.” Sometimes he hits the nail right on the shiny head.

as reported in The New York Times

June 27, 1908
ATTACKS CHURCH MUSIC.
Organist Says Many of Present Hymns Are Musical Rubbish.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Well, bees make it for use in their honeycombs, and humans use it for candles. You can also find some in your ears. Would you like to hear some more…

Highlight here for answer: [wax facts]


Hairstyles that Mom Won’t Approve

I should dearly love that the world should be ever so little better for my presence. Even on this small stage we have our two sides, and something might be done by throwing all one’s weight on the scale of breadth, tolerance, charity, temperance, peace, and kindliness to man and beast. We can’t all strike very big blows, and even the little ones count for something.
Arthur Conan Doyle

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX
www.dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Part 2 in a 26-part series:

• back seat driver
• beat a dead horse
• beating around the bush
• bend over backwards
• between a rock and a hard place
• bite off more than you can chew
• batten down the hatches
• bear the brunt of
• beef up
• behind schedule
• bird in hand is worth two in the bush
• blow one’s own horn
• bone of contention
• bottom out
• bring home the bacon
• bring up the rear
• buy a pig in a poke

as reported in The New York Times

June 26, 1908
HAMMERSTEIN USES TROWEL.
Lays Cornerstone of His Philadelphia Opera House.
PHILADELPHIA — While Oscar Hammerstein was talking with several persons to-day at Broad and Poplar Streets, the site of his new Opera House, his son, Arthur Hammersteine, called to him: “Come, father, let’s get this done first and then those gentlemen can have you.”

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

She’s from an East African republic, but her favorite food is the traditional Native American dish of steam-cooked corn dough filled with various meat and things. I dare you to try and steal some of the…

Highlight here for answer: [Somali’s tamales]


Hairstyles that Mom Won’t Approve

I know beginnings, I know endings too,
and life-in-death, and something else
I’d rather not recall just now.
Anna Akhmatova

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX
www.dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Part 1 in a 26-part series:

• A hitch in your giddy-up

• A lick and a promise

• A long row to hoe

• A lost ball in the high weeds

• A still tongue keeps a wise head

• Ace in the Hole

• All skin and bone

• All talk and no trousers

• Arrow in the quiver

as reported in The New York Times

June 25, 1908
SECRETARY TAFT SHOCKED.
Candidate Calls Mr. Cleveland One of the Great Men of the Country.
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Secretary Taft was greatly shocked when he heard of the death of ex-President Cleveland. He was in the commencement procession of university officials, Faculty and student graduates to Woolsey Hall, where the graduating exercises took place, when the news was conveyed to him.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Yes, I was there at the Battle of Little Bighorn, fighting with the Sioux. In fact, I’m the one that took down the General! That’s why they call me the…

Highlight here for answer: [Custer buster]


Hairstyles that Mom Won’t Approve

My dream of happiness: A quiet spot by the Jamaican seashore looking out at the activity in the ocean, hearing the wind sob with the beauty and the tragedy of everything. Looking out over nine miles of ocean, hearing some happy laughter near-by. Sitting under an almond tree, with the leaf spread over me like an umbrella.
Errol Flynn

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX
www.dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

• “I know there’s aliens ’cause I am one.”

• “Dolphins are not as smart as you’ve heard.”

• “Bush is the worst president since George III.”

• “Ringo will surprise you with his world-class yodeling.”

• “Far be it from me to pick a peck of pickled peppers.”

• “Adam and Eve not Madam and Jeeves.”

• “My kid finally urinates with precision.”

• “The Wichita City Council makes me mad.”

• “I think therefore I Amtrak.”

as reported in The New York Times

June 24, 1908
BEAT HER WAY AS A TRAMP.
Wife In Man’s Clothes Rode with Husband Under Freight Cars.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The composer holds auditions for singers in every town where he performs. He could tour with a consistent, international chorus, but he prefers the magic of the…

Highlight here for answer: [locals’ vocals]


Hairstyles that Mom Won’t Approve

The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.
John Steinbeck

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX
www.dickmonologues.com
SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php