Southpaw Jones

Songmaker • Whimsicologist • Austinite
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Archive for July, 2008

Long Hot Shower

July 24, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: SPJTV No Comments →

You now have 5 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?

CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

Come on out to Flipnotics @ the Triangle tonight at 8 pm, and you might see something like the content of this here YouTube video. Trust me, the bass line is louder in person.

[YouTube link]

Thanks to Robert Steel for recording and posting it.


as reported in The New York Times

July 24, 1908
LOSES DIAMONDS AT BALL.
Mrs. Marshall Roberts’s Collarette Disappears at Duchess’s Supper Table.
Mrs. Marshall Roberts has lost a diamond and pearl collarette under circumstances which are causing considerable gossip in London society. The matter has been reported to the police, who issued a description of the article under the caption, “Lost or Stolen.”


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You have created the most intelligent paintings throughout your career. Your IQ and your talent are so high above the rest, we now bestow you with the label…

Highlight here for answer: [Smartest Artist]


World’s Worst Comic Book Museum




Prostitute yourself. As far as I’m concerned, that’s even braver than waiting for the public to catch on.
Gene Simmons


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
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Pre-Order & Share the CRUELTY

July 23, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

You have 6 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?

CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

UPDATE: Pre-orders now unavailable, so order your copy of CRUELTY on July 29!


as reported in The New York Times

July 23, 1908
WOMAN SHOT IN PARK BUT NO PISTOL FOUND
Suicide or Murder the Problem That Puzzles Police of Eastern Brooklyn.
BODY NOT YET IDENTIFIED
She Lay Dead on a Narrow Box in a Toolhouse in Irving Park — No Sign of a Struggle.
Irving Park, a flower-filled, grass-covered little breathing spot out in the Eastern District of Brooklyn, now has a death mystery, and yesterday the white-haired Germans of the neighborhood who sit out the afternoons on the benches in the park left their newspapers to discuss whether a beautiful young woman found dead in the park was murdered or had committed suicide.


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Lo! We gods shall live forever with power and respect! The humans have pathetic little lives, and yet, I sometimes hear them laugh quietly down there. Tell me, what could possibly make a…

Highlight here for answer: [mortal chortle]


World’s Worst Comic Book Museum




Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
Gautama Buddha


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
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The Hope of Audacit-E

July 22, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? 2 Comments →

You now have 7 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?

CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

To reward myself for a mad rush of promotion and mailings yesterday, I finally took Sweet Maggie to see WALL-E. Several friends told me I would enjoy it, and several enemies tried to keep me from seeing it. That’s always a good sign, and they were right to do it. I loved it. Critics loved it, too, as it now has a 96% fresh rating at rottentomatos.com.

If you haven’t seen it, just go. Go now! I’ll try not to spoil anything, but I do want to type about the themes a bit, so you might want to scroll down if you seek an untainted viewing.

WALL-E is supposed to be a mainstream, animated, robot, Disney/Pixar movie for families, but I have never seen a bolder fictional exploration of Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman. That book is over twenty years old now, but it holds up well. The idea is that the very means by which we receive information are slowly chipping away at our ability to be serious or relevant or truly informed. You don’t have to be a conspiracy theorist to believe that well-entertained, over-stimulated people are the easiest to control and the least likely to start a revolution. I’ll put it this way: Parents use television as a babysitter, and so do The Powers that Be.

The “people” in WALL-E are obese, boneless, infantile lumps who have never done anything but watch screens and eat meals through straws. They are under the spell of 100% entertainment and comfort, and it is not a pretty sight. Again, it really impressed me that a major summer movie like this would show the dark side of getting everything we want. The film has the audacity to express that maybe moderation is wise, and doing something is very often better than watching something.

Of course, we got a full dose of American irony, as the teenage girl sitting next to Maggie sent text messages on her bright little open cell phone throughout the entire film. Yes, even through the scene where WALL-E inadvertently knocks a personal screen away from an immobile woman who seems to see the world around her for the very first time. I so wanted Maggie to knock the phone out of the girl’s hand and whisper, “You’re at the movies, sweetie.” I think that young lady would have been grateful for the clarity.

I’ll say this, in case any of the younger generation happens to stop by this site: Your life and your friends and your school are not that interesting, and you’re going to have horrible neck problems if you don’t stop tinkering with that stupid phone. Just try living in the moment for once, you wet bananas!

Ahem. I realize I am old, but so is WALL-E, and he’s pretty rad. The film is a true piece of art, because only art has the guts to suggest that the viewer cut back on his/her entertainment intake. I will remember this movie every time I think, “Man, I wish I could just watch TV all day today.”


as reported in The New York Times

July 22, 1908
WOMEN LETTER CARRIERS.
Acting as Substitutes for Their Husbands, Away on Vacation.


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That’s no minor bet you just made! You, my friend, have placed a…

Highlight here for answer: [major wager]


World’s Worst Comic Book Museum




Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
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Places to Hide Gold after the Economic Collapse

July 21, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: List No Comments →

You now have 8 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?

CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

I’m not too worried about the Great Global Depression. If it wants to come, maybe we should just let it come. Maybe it just wants a friend! It seems to me that a massive shift in our economics and lifestyle would result in skinnier, stronger, smarter, humbler, kinder, and possibly happier people. People like my grandparents who know the true value of simple food, water, and shelter. Maybe a bit of rock candy is all kids need for Christmas.

Anyway, if it all comes crashing down, here are some suggestions for places to hide the ol’ bullion. No one will ever find it in these locales:

• Melted into jewelry too tacky to be real
• Butt
• In mouth under porcelain crowns
• Anywhere in the abandoned Wall Street Journal building
• In the exhaust pipe of a Hummer on the side of the highway with a sign that says FREE, PLEASE TAKE.
• Wrapped in a few of your famous chocolate bars, you reclusive eccentric, you
• In the lobby of the George W. Bush Presidential Library
• Covered in U.S. dollars
• Inside Southpaw’s bronze medal from the 1996 Olympics


as reported in The New York Times

July 21, 1908
A BALLOON FREIGHT LINE.
Boston Law Firm Organizes to Establish Aerial Carrying Company.


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

My first wife was too shy to wave from across the room, but the…

Highlight here for answer: [second beckoned]


World’s Worst Comic Book Museum




You have summoned me in my weakness. You must sustain me by your strength.
Franklin Pierce, Inaugural Address


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
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A Batman Cometh

July 18, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Poetry No Comments →

You have 11 days to live your life without CRUELTY!
How shall you spend them?

CD Release Tuesday, July 29 @ Cactus Cafe.

I had a grande olde time performing at Flipnotics @ the Triangle last night. Thanks to everyone who came out!

It’s Friday, and I’m exhausted. What can I do but write some current events poetry using words that start with consecutive letters of the alphabet?

Another Batman Comes Down
Evoking Frenzied Groups
Hunkered In Jolly Kabob-esque Lines

Make New Optimistic Plans!
Quick!
Reserve Several Tickets
Using Virtual Websites!

(X-ray Your Zeal!)


as reported in The New York Times

July 18, 1908
NOT A RIOT — JUST BEARS.
Growling of Beasts Locked Up with Owners Started Murder Rumors.


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You are such a sloppy eater, you’ve dropped half your sandwich onto your stomach! You could practically open a sandwich restaurant down there! And, of course, you’d have to call it the…

Highlight here for answer: [Belly Deli]


Retro Kid Cereals




He who imitates evil always goes beyond the example that is set. On the contrary, he who imitates good always falls a little bit short.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515
www.utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
Do Share! These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
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    -- Cat Power, Unreleased
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