Southpaw Jones

Archive for August 4th, 2008

How Did I Get Here?

August 04, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: List No Comments →

CRUELTY is now available!
Order now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase the CD or MP3s at cdbaby.com.
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

I had to visit the dentist this morning, and my mouth is not happy with me as a result. It got pretty beat up. But we have to spend the rest of the day together, so we might as well get along, ok, mouth? You can sit there, swelling and sulking, or you can join me here at work like a good, functioning body part. I took you to that place for your own good, and I truly intend to floss you more often in the coming months, so get used to it.

Anywayz, here are some very real search strings that led folks to my humble site via Google, Yahoo, etc. in July. As always, I must add: I could not make these up.

• feline laryngitis
• skinny animals
• skinny black cats
• skinny black people
• Sexy French maid outfit
• spiderman torte
• What do Southpaw Jones and Mother Teresa have in common
• beef jerky navasota
• flirty text messages shorthand
• horny women in bryan/college station
• new ways of making out
• now that I’m in my thirties jones

as reported in The New York Times

August 4, 1908
LEG BROKE OFF IN CHASE.
It Being of Wood, Farmer Lashed Stick On and Caught Fleeing Boys.
GREENWICH — Nathan Sellick, a farmer of Banksville, turned over to the local police to-day four boys who had been raiding his apple orchard after the most novel chase that has ever taken place in the town.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That honey-making insect is enjoying a slight wind as if he actually owned the air! I wish I could take a ride on the…

Highlight here for answer: [bee’s breeze]

Concept Typography Artwork, Animal Kingdom

This American system of ours … call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you like, gives to each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
Al Capone

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com