Southpaw Jones

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

He’s so old, he thinks a cursor is a randy vaudeville comedian.
No, not John McCain jokes, Cindy McCain jokes!
Poor Cindy!

Now, no one likes to see a Cindy get hurt.
(Except Cindy Brady, of course. She drinks like a pig.)
But the idea of a supporter injuring a candidate’s wife…that is an irresistible concept, right up there with a vice president shooting his friend in the face. And since it’s Friday, here are some Easy-On-The-Arm Jokes:

• With friends like these, who needs a wellspring of national support?

• If you have no idea how to touch a woman, chances are, you just might be a McCain voter.

• Can I get overzealous neanderthal fries to go with that shake?

• Maybe she is actually made of porcelain.

• This is what you get for touching commoners.

• Just be glad he didn’t shake your tax returns out of your pocket!

• Under Bush Administration legal adjustments, tearing someone’s arm off is a perfectly acceptable greeting.

• Note to Cindy: Do not tell John that “The campaign trail is torture.” He will not take that well.

And my personal favorite…

• Republicans REALLY don’t know when to use force.

Ah, sweet relief. Come back Monday!

as reported in The New York Times

August 15, 1908
GOV. HASKELL WRITING SONGS
Trying Campaign Effusions on the Useful Newspaper Men.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You know that veteran actor Jack from all those westerns and City Slickers? He had a great sense equilibrium and stability which allowed him to do those one-handed push-ups at the Oscars. Now that he’s gone, I realize how much I miss seeing…

Highlight here for answer: [Palance balance]


Blindfolded Cartoonists

Mick Jagger is about as sexy as a pissing toad.
Truman Capote

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com