Southpaw Jones

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

There are two really cool parts of a movie critic’s job.

1. Getting paid to watch movies
2. Making up funny, punny headings based on movie titles

I am not a professional reviewer, and I don’t have time to watch all the movies out there, so I’m going to focus on #2: Having fun with titles. I’ll give the name of a current film, then offer some puns for both positive and negative reactions, in the interest of fairness, since I haven’t seen any of them.

A warning: These may be excruciating.

BURN AFTER READING

Negative:
Spurn after Reading this Review!
Take a Ride on the Reading Railroad Far Away from this Picture!

Positive:
Return After Viewing!
Earn Laughter Treating Yourself to this Flick!

LAKEVIEW TERRACE

Negative:
Lakeview Terrible!
Lakeview Tear Us New Ones!

Positive:
Lakeview Terrific!
Enjoy the View! The One of the Lake!

EAGLE EYE

Negative:
An Eagle Just Pooped in My Eye! Figuratively!
It Would Take the Vision of a Bird of Prey to Find the Good in this Stinker!

Positive:
Legal High!
Clear Eye for the Great Spy! (Only an option if there is a spy in the film. Is there a spy?)

as reported in The New York Times

September 26, 1908
Coin Found in a Fish’s Backbone.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Oh, sure, now I’m a crusty, old, large serving spoon with a long handle, but I used to be a cute vessel in my baby bed. Somewhere around here, I still have a picture of that…

Highlight here for answer: [ladle cradle]


Custom My Little Ponies

He is wealthy enough, that wanteth not: he is great enough, that is his own master: he is happy enough, that lives to die well.
Joseph Hall

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2008
7:00 pm
Bettysport
916 A. West 12th St. 78703
AUSTIN, TX
Happy Hour for Austin Duathletes and Austin Runners Club.
www.bettysport.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com