Southpaw Jones

Songmaker • Whimsicologist • Austinite
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Archive for October 3rd, 2008

Debate o’ Bull

October 03, 2008 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting? No Comments →

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or Southpaw Jones - Cruelty.
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the information flow last night. I still haven’t watched the debate in full, but thanks to my citizen journalists, I might not need to. Here are some of the live updates I received:

Palin sez she doesn’t care if she doesn’t answer the questions.
Called him Senator Obiden.
-Maggie

Palin Comparison–

“Gosh darn it, if hockey moms and Joe Six Pack can get the mavericks in office, reform will happen and we’ll all be better off.”

“At 9am McCain said the fundamentals of the economy were sound. At 11am he said there was a crisis.”

“He was talking about the American workers being the fundamentals of the economy–their work ethic and and ingenuity. That’s what he was talking about. I was a mayor.”
-Herman

Palin is being really stupid. She’s dodging questions, making lame jokes, and overusing the term “Maverick.” She’s probably having baby seals killed as she speaks. Somehow.
Also, I think Biden is destroying.
-Max

Of course, Spike Gillespie won Reporter of the Night with these insights:

what she’s wearing to distract from her stupidity:
warren says sarah just said “shit.” she’s wearing an olive business suit with a flag lapel brooch. her hair is both up AND down. she came out of the gates with a soccer mom comment.

now gwen is asking who caused the financial devastation.
sarah says “darn right it was the predator lenders!” she just said “joe six pack and hockey moms need to band together and say NEVER AGAIN.” here here!. HAHAHAHA: she said let’s learn a heckuva lot of good lessons from this! let’s not live outside our means! hahaha.

now for joe biden
mumble mumble, boring intelligent comments, boring intelligent comments, barack obama is good, john mccain called for deregulation, blah blah blah, well researched quote, no lipstick, boring hair, no high heels, blah blah blah. i was just at my local gas station and i said joey, how much does it cost to fill your tank and he said joe i don’t know– i can’t afford to fill it!

ohh, sarah palin just said DARN RIGHT! again. darn right– sew your socks properly! darn wrong and you’re socks will be very uncomfortable.

WE LOVE GWEN!

biden just said SCRANTON

biden just called mccain obama (oops)

she just said, “the good thing about running with mccain is that he doesn’t say one thing to one group and something else to some other group.” and she said it SO catty– time to play cruelty of teenage-like alaskan governors!

she is GIGGLING as she talks about Drill Baby Drill. She just called him Senator O’Biden. Top o’ the morning to ya O’biden!

Biden Says He’s Jiggy with Same Sex Rights!

Sarah says… nope– it has to be between a man and a woman BUT she wants to back pedal and say she’s tolerant of … blah blah blah… her diverse family… her dear friends who don’t agree with her… i don’t support defining marriage as anything but between one man and one woman. she says she’s being STRAIGHT UP!

uh oh- now joe says he doesn’t support gay MARRIAGE. hmmm…. now he’s talking about the BOTTOM line (wink wink, nudge nudge)

sarah is AGAINST early withdrawal! no kidding– how many kids does she have?

HAHA she just worked in her RECENT GREAT CONVERSATION WITH KISSINGER!!

i *think* biden just said Crow-Ats and BozNiacs instead of Croats and Bosnians

meOWCH she’s a catty bitch. she just said, “say it ain’t so Joe!” real sarcastic

Thanks for keeping me filled in as I performed my folksinger duties!


as reported in The New York Times

October 3, 1908
MAYOR SHOOTS AT STUDENT.
Town Somewhat Upset Since Longworth Approved Hazing.
CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — Mayor Blaine early this morning fired his revolver at a University of Illinois student with whom he had been having a hand-to-hand combat. His aim was poor and the student, one of a large party engaged in hazing freshmen, escaped.


One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Mr. Mouse was tired of eating cheese, sleeping, and running around all day. He decided he would build a drum set and play some rock music. He used a film can as a bass drum and a match box as a snare drum. For a crashing sound, he rummaged through the sewing drawer until he found until he found the perfect metal, finger-protecting…

Highlight here for answer: [thimble cymbal]


Honest Products




If a psychiatric and scientific enquiry were to be made upon our rulers, mankind would be appalled at the disclosures.
Alfred Korzybski


EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2008
7:00 pm
Bettysport
916 A. West 12th St. 78703
AUSTIN, TX
Happy Hour for Austin Duathletes and Austin Runners Club.
www.bettysport.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com

Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
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