Southpaw Jones

That’s right, this lovely image of Tyra Banks and the regular features will have to keep you company until Tuesday, as I remain under the big sky in West Texas.

as reported in The New York Times

May 2, 1908
DOWIE NO LONGER UNKISSED.
Son of the Late Prophet Is Caressed in Court by a Girl Client.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

During the filming of Purple Rain, they experimented with covering the star in soapy foam, but after seeing how it looked through the camera, the director said, “Cut! Enough of this. Would someone please…

Highlight here for answer: [rinse Prince]


Mickey Feio

I close my eyes while driving and just sing along. I always open them again in time.
Tyra Banks

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Welcome to the lovely month of May, friends. I am on vacation in West Texas, where even the existence of Tyra Banks can’t dampen my spirits.

I’ve kept the regular features going below. Enjoy!

as reported in The New York Times

May 1, 1908
BOY TENOR PLEASES CARUSO.
Former Bootblack with Wonderful Voice Is Discovered in Pittsburg.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Sorry, you have to drop money in the change basket before you can use that dish to eat cereal. You see, it’s a…

Highlight here for answer: [toll bowl]


Mickey Feio

Even though I’m a model and guys fall in love with that image, I still look at myself as any other woman.
Tyra Banks

EVERY DANG THURSDAY (except tonight!)
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Today is a big day in my little world.

Happy Birthday to Willie Nelson, Once and Future King and President of the Kingdom and Republic of Texas! He is seventy-five years young today, and he’s been making wonderful music live and in the studio for many decades. If you haven’t seen him live, just do it. Just do it! Wherever and whenever you can. I don’t care what kind of music you like. Do you like feeling good? I thought so.

Two years ago today, I went on a first date with a young woman named Maggie, and she’s been my sweetheart ever since. We went to the Blanton Museum for art (opening weekend!), Madam Mams for thai food, and Hole in the Wall for drinks and music. It was a walking and talking affair that lasted about six hours and ended with a kiss on the cheek and brilliant potential. She’s my girl, and I am a thankful man..

I’ll be listening to Willie’s 100-song box set One Hell of a Ride (a birthday present from Maggie), while I celebrate my 2-year anniversary with her, as we travel to West Texas for the bliss we miss in day jobs like this. Can you beat that with a stick? No? Then stick it with a beat. “She’s a good-hearted woman in love with a good-timin’ man…”

We’re heading out tomorrow morning, and we won’t be back until late Monday. I’ll keep the regular features of southpawjones.com going, so keep on coming back and thanks for doing so!

as reported in The New York Times

April 30, 1908
SUFFRAGETTES PROTEST.
The leaders of the Suffragette movement in New York, Mrs. Borrman Wells, Mrs. Lydia Commander, and Mrs. Sophie Loebinger, called upon Police Inspector Cortright yesterday to protest against the lack of police protection given them at their open-air meeting in Harlem on Monday evening.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The King of Judea has ordered the death of all children under the age of two! He fears the coming messiah! He has also ordered fine lotions and other moisturizing products for personal use. Behind his back, folks in Bethlehem are calling him….

Highlight here for answer: [arid Herod]


Mickey Feio

I consider all Willie Nelson songs locked in an infinite tie with themselves for first place. Why? Judging Willie Nelson songs is like trying to figure out whether you should thank God for the oceans or the mountains.
Todd Snider

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

How ‘bout some media recommendations today? We could all use a little distraction in these troubled times. Then again, documentaries don’t quite fall into the distraction category, but I love them to death. I like to hug documentaries real tight until the truth explodes from their bookish corners.

In the Shadow of the Moon
Wow, we really sent a bunch of test pilots to the moon before I was born! It’s a shiny, powdery place. Hear the story from those who lived it, and enjoy some wonderful footage and original music.
http://www.intheshadowofthemoon.com

Darkon
Yes, unabashed live-action role-playing in the parks of Baltimore! Swords, fire, strategy, and betrayal! Thank god someone was there to capture this stuff.
http://www.darkonthemovie.com

The Unforeseen
This is one that everyone should see, especially Austinites. It details the last few years of development in the Hill Country and its effects on local swimming holes, particularly Barton Springs, the one-of-a-kind miracle in my backyard. Very professionally done, and more emotional and balanced than you might think.
http://streams.twobirdsfilm.com

Dexter
This is not a documentary, but a Showtime series about a serial killer who kills serial killers. Man, that summary sounds awful, but it really is a fine, smart show if you can handle the gore and dark-as-a-dungeon humor. As I watched the 1st and 2nd seasons, I felt a tension and attachment to characters I hadn’t felt since a little program called The Sopranos. Triumph!

as reported in The New York Times

April 29, 1908
FALLACIES ABOUT RABIES.
The Pathological Division of the Bureau of Animal Industry has issued a pamphlet on mad dogs. It states that rabies has increased in the United States, and points to the fact that by muzzling all dogs continuously for a few years European countries have ridden themselves of this scourge. [

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

He’s a decent public speaker, but he concludes every speech by standing still and flexing his muscles for the cameras. If he’s going to be a serious candidate, he really has to drop the…

Highlight here for answer: [posing closing]


Mickey Feio

Old houses were scaffolding once and workmen whistling.
T. E. Hulme

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
except this one…Matt the Electrician plays with Seela…I’m on vacation.
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Tonight features another performance of Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues at Hyde Park Theatre in Austin. You know, as posted on www.dickmonologues.com:

The Dick Monologues is a show about everything dick related from the noun definition to the action verb. Conceived and birthed by Spike Gillespie in July 2007 as a one night revenge-as-art performance, the show was so well received that the dick has continued to grow, with monthly performances including Austin’s top writers, performers and singer-songwriters.

The show was mega-fun when we started almost a year ago, and it has only gotten better. You simply must see it if you haven’t already seen it thrice. The show starts at 7 pm, and you can e-mail spike@spikeg.com to reserve tickets. Come to think of it, I have four tickets to give away personally! Free of charge! If you want to claim one or two of them, I’ll give them on a first come, first served basis. E-mail me at southpaw@southpawjones.com real quick with one or two full names, and I’ll let you know if you were fast enough.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
http://dickmonologues.com

Thursday, Matt the Electrician returns from Alaska to join me at Flipnotics @ the Triangle. I’ll be on vacation next week, so come get us while the gettin’s good!

THURSDAY, APRIL 24
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

as reported in The New York Times

April 24, 1908
OLYMPIC AND TITANIC.
Names of White Star Leviathans, to be More Than 840 Feet Long.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I really should go to the workout facility more often. Every time I hit the treadmill and those weight machines, I get that vigor, that renewed capacity for movement and activity. I call it my…

Highlight here for answer: [gym vim]


Ice Cream People

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.
William Arthur Ward

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX
dickmonologues.com