Southpaw Jones

Austinites! Come on out to Flipnotics @ the Triangle tonight for the return of one Matt the Electrician. 8 pm!

I have a fresh, awful, wonderful new recording for you this morning. Do you want to know the two events that influenced its creation?

1. I watched the documentary Fearless Freaks featuring the Flaming Lips this week.
2. I had trouble getting to sleep last night, so I needed a personal lullaby.

This took about an hour to record, and the lyrics are as follows:

I knelt in secret
Beside your bed
I lived in wonder
Inside your head

When time spoke for me
It said a lot
I meant to thank him
But I forgot

I considered keeping the whole thing to myself, but the ending makes me giggle, so I simply must share. Try not to think about what I was thinking, feeling, or wearing. Enjoy:

Much melancholy has devolved upon mankind, and it is detestable to me that might will triumph in the end … Art must not serve might.
Karel Čapek

Vintage American Paperbacks




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Alright, we’re heading into that courtroom. Who knows when this will all be over. I want our entire team to appear confident, assured, and happy. So slap on your best…

Highlight here for answer: [trial smile]



Thursday, October 4th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

I finally added the NEW CD to the NEW CD STORE!

Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Playing: Live at Café Mundi

It’s a celebration of the five years we spent performing Wednesday nights at the East Austin hideaway. Without that gig, I don’t even know if I’d live in Austin right now. For the first year, I was commuting from Houston to perform for a handful of local seekers. Nowadays, we’ve moved on up to Thursdays at Flipnotics at the Triangle, which makes me all the more appreciative to have a document of our time at Mundi.

It’s a bit of a “Listener Discretion Advised” CD, ‘cause we’re rough & tumble folk singers and all. If you think you can handle it, feel free to order from my CD STORE or legendary retailer CD BABY.

Today, I’d like to share Women, Yes Sir! from the CD. It’s my attempt to explore and support feminism from a white, heterosexual, unfocused male perspective. I did the best I could. Matt the Electrician plays banjo-uke and sings along. Enjoy!

[By the way, you can catch me performing this song as part of Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues, a monthly celebration/condemnation of jerks and choads.]

Listen and spread the word!

Women, Yes Sir!

Women deserve to rule the world, yes sir, yes sir
Women deserve to rule the world, yes sir, yes sir
Women deserve to rule this land,
Repair the damage done by man
Women deserve to rule the world, yes sir

Women have a right to equal pay, yes sir, yes sir
Women have a right to equal pay, yes sir, yes sir
Everyone must reap and sew (so?)
Equal work for equal dough
Women have a right to equal pay, yes sir

Women have a right to control their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
Women have a right to control their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
If and when to breathe or breed
Just as man can spill his seed
Women have a right to control their bodies, yes sir

Women have a right to wash their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
Women have a right to wash their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
Women have a right to lather up slow
Tracing circles as they go
Women have a right to wash their bodies, yes sir

Women have a right to explore their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
Women have a right to explore their bodies, yes sir, yes sir
Women deserve a pleasure spree
In private or in front of me
Women have a right to explore their bodies, yes sir

Women deserve to kick my ass, yes ma’am, yes ma’am
Women deserve to kick my ass, yes ma’am, yes ma’am
Women deserve to slap me ‘round
Tickle my rump and tie me down
Women deserve to kick my ass, yes sir.

Music can be all things to all persons. It is like a great dynamic sun in the center of a solar system which sends out its rays and inspiration in every direction…. Music makes us feel that the heavens open and a divine voice calls. Something in our souls responds and understands.
Leopold Stokowski

The Napkin Drawings by Marty Coleman




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I tell them I’m a very slow eater, and I’ve never participated in a Marine Mollusk-Eating Contest before. Of course, it’s a big lie, they bet more money against me, and so goes my…

Highlight here for answer: [mussel hustle]



Thursday, September 20th, 2007
8:00 PM
Bruce Hughes & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
8:00 PM
2008 NAKED Calendar Release Party
Hyde Park Theater
Austin, TX
Performing as part of C-Dar Fevar.

It’s Tuesday.
Music Day.
Kanye vs. 50 Day.
Sad anniversary day.

I don’t have a new recording to share, so how ‘bout one that’s almost eleven years old? Yes, I released my first CD, In Front of People (out of print!), at the end of 1996. I was a sophomore in college. I borrowed money from some wonderful friends and recorded a live performance in a lecture hall on campus.

As I was mixing it with my friend Dave Wallingford, we decided to add one more track to the magic. I performed Something to Fall On in a basement apartment, while microphones outside captured the ambient sounds of a Nashville neighborhood. Planes, dogs, and automobiles. I liked this sound so much that I used it a few years later for an entire record, One in the Door, One in the Grave.

Attached are the lyrics, if you’d like to follow along with my try-not-to-wake-up-the-neighbors imitation twang.

Sittin’ in this ol’ border town café
Knowin’ that it just ain’t my day
Fearful of the words she might say
Watchin’ while our love goes away.

And I’m havin’ an extravagant meal
Sinkin’ my teeth in this tasty veal
Hopin’ to forget the whole deal
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille

And I’m eatin’ my heart out tonight
My hunger is strengthened by fright
And I’m feelin’ that something ain’t right
I’m fillin’ my stomach
So my heart’ll have something to fall on

Soon she’ll sit here and tell the bad news
So bring me a bucket of them ol’ salted cashews
Lookin’ at the menu I’ll choose
To eat my way out of these blues

And I realize that her love just can’t be won
So I’m spreadin’ my grief on this kaiser bun
I feel so empty, but I must weigh a ton
My heart burns in more ways than one

And I’m eatin’ my heart out tonight
My hunger is strengthened by fright
And I’m feelin’ that something ain’t right
I’m fillin’ my stomach
So my heart’ll have something to fall on
And I’m eatin’ my heart out tonight

The suspicious mind believes more than it doubts. It believes in a formidable and ineradicable evil lurking in every person.
Eric Hoffer

Cats’ Sleeping Positions




One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Yes sir, that earthquake was really localized! It only rocked one measurable rectangle of our property. We nicknamed it the…

Highlight here for answer: [acre shaker]



Thursday, September 13th, 2007
8:00 PM
Bruce Hughes & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

Hello. I’m sorry it’s Monday. I did everything I could to stop its arrival. Perhaps a little music will help assuage this morning’s nastiness.

Certain people I could name [Owen Egerton] have recently asked, “If you’re a songwriter, how come there aren’t any songs on your blog?” It’s a fair question, and it deserves an answer. That answer, however, is long, boring, and excuse-laden, exactly the kind of thing I don’t like to include here. So instead of ruminating on the problem, I will focus instead on the remedy: Remedial Recordings.

Get it? The word “remedy” is right there buried in the word itself! AND it means “intended to correct or improve one’s skill in a specified field,” as in “remedial math.” You see, I’ve always wanted to record and present a lot of music online, but I always want it to sound really good and complete and intentional. Perhaps it’s time to loosen the reigns a bit, you know, for the sake of the song.

Remedial Recordings will help get my tunes out into the world, while simultaneously improving my ability to write, perform, and record music. That’s the idea, and today, I present you with my Flipnotics Theme Song. This was the song title challenge from my show with Matt the Electrician two weeks ago at Flipnotics @ the Triangle. We figured, why not celebrate the location of our new weekly show with a tune?

Luckily, when we performed our embryonic compositions on August 16, our friend and local audio archivist Joshua Cain was there to capture the magic. Thanks to him, here is my effort:

Yes, your ears do not deceive, that is a key-tar. This is the kind of fun you’re missing if you’re not at Flipnotics @ the Triangle every Thursday! Please let me know if the audio player does not work on your computer. Feel free to follow along with the lyrics:

Flipnotics Theme Song

I don’t wanna stare
I don’t wanna balk
I don’t wanna hear your parrot talk
I don’t wanna judge
But it’s too late
Your little sister filled out great

I don’t wanna jog
I don’t wanna drive
I don’t wanna see if your dog’s alive
I don’t wanna smoke
Don’t wanna catch a flick
I don’t wanna see your tongue ring trick

I’ve had so much caffeine
Now all I can do is Flipnotics
I’ve had so much Flipnotics
Now all I can do is caffeine

I don’t wanna binge
I don’t wanna purge
I don’t want an update on the surge
I don’t wanna cook
I don’t wanna stretch
I don’t wanna hear your mom kvetch

I’ve had so much caffeine
Now all I can do is Flipnotics
I’ve had so much Flipnotics
Now all I can do is caffeine

I don’t want a Spider
I don’t want no guava
And I don’t want to go to Austin Java
Ee-oh ee-oh let’s go to Flipnotics
Ee-oh ee-oh let’s go, let’s go…

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.
Flash Rosenberg

Online Museum of the Week
Matt Forderer:

Rooster Zebra Contemplating Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I want a machine that will chop up my coffee beans in a more gentle, considerate way. Do you have a…

Highlight here for answer: [kinder grinder]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, August 30th, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!

iPawed [Original]
Pound for pound, the best sounds around. For free!

I wrote me up a theme song for Owen Egerton’s new book, How Best to Avoid Dying. Give it a listen, and join us for the release party at BookPeople tomorrow night, Thursday, 7 pm.

Other high-quality tunes are available for purchase on iTunes, and you can order hard copies on southpawjones.com!

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

I’ll perform solo at Café Mundi tonight, friends. That’s at 8 pm to 10 pm. Matt the Electrician is performing for Yankees in Yankeeville.

Tomorrow is the aforementioned Owen Egerton Book Release Party at BookPeople. That’s at 7 pm.

Have you ever seen a twinkling star that seemed like it was talking to you? Let me know, ‘cause it may be the one that got me to invest in a nasty pyramid scheme. I don’t think I’m ever going to see my money again.

Have you ever seen a shaggy dog that seemed to be smiling? Give me a call, ‘cause that mutt was the last creature seen with my stolen Aerosmith box set.

Have you ever felt a breeze tell you it’s all gonna be alright? Well, that same gust lifted my kilt in front of everyone at the Renaissance Festival.

Watch out! That’s my point!

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
8:00 PM
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St.
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
www.cafemundi.com

Thursday, May 17th, 2007
7:00 PM
Owen Egerton Book Release Party
BookPeople
6th & Lamar
Austin, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com
Performing a few songs to help celebrate the release of Owen’s new book How Best to Avoid Dying. Owen, as in owenegerton.com will read and sign books. The Whip In will provide beer & wine.

Online Museum of the Week
Pimp My Bookcart:

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Invalidate the great psychoanalyst!
Highlight here for answer: [void Freud]

Thank you, come again!
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myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.