Southpaw Jones

That cake doesn’t look half-bad, either. Zing! My sweet Maggie made it for my birthday. As you can see, I also got a good roll of paper towels and two beers. Who could ask for anything more?

as reported in The New York Times

April 24, 1908
ATLANTIC CITY MUST BE GOOD.
Mayor Stoy Threatens Saloon Keepers and Hotel Men.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You can adjust the mattress firmness to your preference, the integer that helps you sleep best, your…

Highlight here for answer: [slumber number]


Ice Cream People

The knowable world is incomplete if seen from any one point of view, incoherent if seen from all points of view at once, and empty if seen from nowhere in particular.
Richard Shweder

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com

Poetry that Rhymes
And flows. And builds a bridge. And inspires:

Take from the taking.
Love for the making.
Undergrads baking.
Take breaks from braking.

Don’t ride the clutch.
I got skills.

Bald, battered bombers battered Baltimore.
But I was long gone.

Custer caused carnage in Carthage.
‘Cause he thought I was there. Wasn’t!

Demons dive determinedly down on Detroit.
Don’t tell ‘em you’ve seen me.

Evil evacuates each eve of Easter.
Even then, I ain’t afraid.

Forests fall and footballs are fumbled.
Far be it from me to fear.

G is the seventh letter of the alphabet!
Get me some grub!

Quick poetry reeks, as one hereby observes.
But quick, reeking poetry this Tuesday deserves.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

How dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge, and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow.
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Online Museum of the Week
Pimp My Bookcart:

Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

There’s a yard sale at the monastery. Let’s go rummage through some…
Highlight here for answer: [monk junk]

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Paw meets Piñata on Cinco de Mayo! Thanks again, David, Molly, and Veronica!

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Here’s a pic from last week’s Cinco de Mayo celebration. Thanks Molly!

Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

A more intelligent inspirational croaker.
Highlight here for answer: [smarter martyr]

Online Museum of the Week
Fun with Coffee:

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Stop what you’re doing and breathe.
Dan Bern

Plumb, Plumber, Plumbest
Signs o’ the times from Austin’s singing Jewish plumber, Herman Bennett:

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Enjoy Cinco de Mayo! I’ll be celebrating on in East Austin!

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Ten Spoilers from Spider-Man 3
[Do not read this if you do not want to know fake plot information!]

1. Having trouble seeing through his mask, Spider-Man brings Mary Jane a half-dozen bagels when she specifically asked for donuts.

2. Sandman brings Spider-Man a dream: the cutest he’s ever seen.

3. Peter discovers that Aunt May had Uncle Ben killed for an insurance windfall, so she sells him to a Russian circus.

4. Having run out of floss, Spider-Man accidentally chokes on webbing.

5. Spider-Man gets invited to be a groomsman; has to buy a creepy, alien black suit.

6. There’s, like, drama and stuff.

7. An odd sub-plot follows Spider-Woman in a rural setting, as she tries to save the life of a runt pig.

8. Peter smokes and holds his cigarette between his index and pinky fingers. Weird.

9. Expect an extended lover’s quarrel over whose job it is to clean dead bugs off the suit.

10. Mary Jane finds an egg sac in the glove compartment.

Online Museum of the Week
MoFA: The Museum of Food Anomalies:

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

I have suffered for my music. Now it’s your turn.
Neil Innes

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

30 years of Southpaw, 30 years of pictures. Come celebrate with my pals and me at Ruta Maya tonight! Here’s one last look at the excellent poster, designed by Jeremy Johnson:

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

30 Things I’ve Learned in 30 Years (Part 3)

21. Progress requires compromise with idiots. Refrain from use of the term “idiot” until you have reached your goals.

22. Passive voice will always be used by politicians and people whom better is not known by.

23. Television is the business of selling your eyes and ears to corporations. I should know; I watch a lot of it.

24. Automobiles just need to get you from Point A to Point B. They are incapable of driving into Point Sea.

25. Experience, inheritance, and environment combine to make you who you are. You can blame every bad decision on them or on caffeine.

26. The most “patriotic” people are often most angry about paying taxes.

27. Eight hours of sleep each night is just about right.

28. Chris Rock says, “”You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” That second sentence is a triple-negative that haunts my dreams and my inner schoolmarm.

29. A good rule for food and drink: If you’re disgusted when it gets on your hands, you probably shouldn’t be putting it into your body. Unfortunately, this applies to two of my faves, Coke and Doritos.

30. When I was born, there was no Internet, no good Spider-Man movies, no home recording, and coffeehouses were seemingly limited to San Francisco and New York. I propose that dreams really do come true.

Online Museum of the Week
Stuff from 1977:

I don’t know who these people are, but I think they’re Swedish.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

For my generation to turn 30-we were all very scared of it. Turned out it was nothing.
Lauren Hutton

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.