Southpaw Jones

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

30 years of Southpaw, 30 years of pictures. Come celebrate with my pals and me at Ruta Maya on Friday, April 6!

In the spring of 1999, I said good-bye to college life by performing a show in a lecture hall then falling off a ladder through a table. It knocked the wind out of me, which was no fun, but at least no one asked me to replace the table.

5 Facts, 1 TX Town, a Springsteen Lyric & a famous Jew
In no particular order:

1. The industrial revolution made it possible to work year-round, since this labor was not tied to the season, and artificial lighting made work possible for the greater part of the day.

2. This nineteenth century work schedule was the most intense work effort in the history of labor.

3. Working all day in my daddy’s garage, driving all night chasing some mirage.

4. The Kapauku of Papua think it is bad luck to work two consecutive days.

5. Megargel, Texas

6. ‘Blue Monday’ or ‘Mondayitis’ or “having a case of the Mondays” is a feeling of weariness and apathy that some workers express when starting the work week on Monday.

7. POETS day is an acronym for “Piss Off Early Tomorrow’s Saturday” used by workers in England and Australia, to jocularly refer to Friday.

8. Mel Blanc

Online Museum of the Week
If Geniuses Ruled:

Sorry, no longer available.

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Oh, love will make a dog howl in rhyme.
Francis Beaumont

SPJTV
Moving pictures because technology allows it:

A dalmation enjoying Lady and the Tramp. Thanks, Arbroath:

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

30 years of Southpaw, 30 years of pictures. Come celebrate with my pals and me at Ruta Maya on Friday, April 6!

I actually slept atop my friend Jason’s van while traveling with the Tourbaby crew on September 18, 2001. We had just performed in Ashland, Oregon, and the night sky was clear and peppered with stars. It would have been perfect, except for the temperature drop to 35 degrees. Oh, and I couldn’t really adjust my position much up there because one, I might roll off and break something, and two, I might wake up the two guys sleeping in the van’s interior. I couldn’t complain, though, I got to watch a nebula cross the sky.

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Happy Friday to you! I’m wearing jeans for the second day in a row, but this time, I’m in the right. I’ve got two weeks to go until the big birthday celebration, and this will be the next-to-last weekend of my twenties. I think I’ll take a half-day. You should, too.

Do you ever sigh a little sigh and wonder why the rest of the world hates America? Could it be images like this?!?!?

AHHHHHHHHH! Run away! Gluttonous infidels! They will eat third world citizens when they run out of refried beans!

Online Museum of the Week
Covers of Girl from Ipanema:

Oberon String Quartet

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

It’s the boredom that kills you. You read until you’re tired of that. You do crossword puzzles until you’re tired of that. This is torture. This is mental torture.
Jack Kevorkian

Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:

No clues, just letters! Pick a group of squares, and start makin’ words. I found this gem here.

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

30 years of Southpaw, 30 years of pictures. Come celebrate with my pals and me at Ruta Maya on Friday, April 6!

Well, if it isn’t Matt the Electrician at the Kerrville Folk Festival admitting that…

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

The Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette is so informative! Well, creating it is informative anyway. Typing the title just now, I realized that it’s Thursday, and yet, I HAVE JEANS ON AT THE OFFICE. Eek! This is bad.

Friday and ONLY Friday is known as Dress Down Day here at American Money Team. Not Casual Friday, mind you, but “Dress Down” Friday. It’s as if they really want to call it “Slummin’ It On Our Dollar Day.”

But I don’t care what they call it. I love wearing jeans, and I hate wearing slacks, so I look forward to the wardrobe change on Friday.

I guess I was looking forward to it too much this week. I honestly thought Friday was here! Where was my mind this morning? Too busy cursing the world that would rip me from my slumber. So what do I do now?

1. E-mail my immediate boss and explain that I meant no disrespect when I dressed so slovenly this morning?

2. Try to sneak out for twenty minutes, run home and change clothes?

3. Take a marker and paint my jeans black?

4. Say nothing and hope to spark a revolution of comfort, happiness, and productivity, eventually leading to my appointment as Vice President of Coolness?

5. Say nothing and hide in my cubicle all day like I always do?

6. Quietly pack up my stuff, walk out, and never come back? Start hitchhiking?

7. Call my lawyer and ask what the Constitution might have to say on the subject?

8. Create a banner that reads “Bong Hits For Jesus” and run through the office with it?

9. Slick back my hair, stick both my thumbs up, and bang on the office juke box until it plays a song?

10. Whimper in a fetal position until someone brings me a pair of Corporate-Approved Khakis?

What would YOU do? Leave a comment!

Rhyme Time!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Meeting of a legislative body at which all members are present AND wearing jeans.
Highlight here for answer: [denim plenum]

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

Leave something good in every day.
Dolly Parton

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

30 years of Southpaw, 30 years of pictures. Come celebrate with my pals and me at Ruta Maya on Friday, April 6!

From the 2006 Naked Calendar, Mr. December. Photo by Kenny Braun.

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Did you know that I was raised by wolves? Of course not, because it’s not true.

Did you know that I spent my formative years sleeping on sandpaper? It’s true. I had a rough childhood. It was a late-seventies breakthrough in child psychology called The Coarse Course. As you can imagine, I’m a better person for it.

I have cold hands on the warmest of days because doctors say that my brain and groin require “an unusually intense blood flow.”

Back in rural Alabama, I used to shimmy up relatively thin trees then rock back and forth until the tree and I came crashing to the ground together. I don’t recommend it.

Also in Alabama, a neighbor’s dog bit me on the arm, drawing blood. We had it tested for rabies, while I had nightmares about the cure for said rabies, “twenty shots in the dang stomach.” The dog’s tests were negative, but they did find traces of “plain ol’ meanness” in his system.

I can’t help thinking about these things, because I’m turning 30 in weeks, not months, not years. It’s hard not to reminisce and/or focus too much on the upcoming celebration.

“Get over yourself, Southpaw.”

Ok.

Tonight, Matt the Electrician and I return to Café Mundi, where life and limb come together for arts, not crafts. Do join us.

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
8:00 PM
Cafe Mundi
1704 E. 5th St
Austin, TX
512-236-8634
http://www.cafemundi.com

Online Museum of the Week
Covers of Girl from Ipanema:

Sarah Boak

Two (2) Pathetic Things
Humility is our only hope:

1] watching American Idol religiously
2] being out of the loop when people discuss American Idol

Plumb, Plumber, Plumbest
Signs o’ the times from Austin’s singing Jewish plumber, Herman Bennett:

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Paw Prints
Pics of Southpaw, his environ, and his interweb:

Posters for my 30th Birthday Celebration are on the way! Mega-thanks to Jeremy Johnson for the lovely design!

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Well, SXSW is over, and I’m relieved. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun playing a few gigs and seeing some wonderful out-of-town friends. I just don’t understand what it’s supposed to accomplish or what I’m supposed to accomplish with it. There are certainly a lot of people milling about town. Big crowds in mid-sized rooms. Mid-sized crowds in tiny rooms.

It’s not my bag. I just want to spend the last few days of my precious twenties tasting the flavor of normalcy. Coffee. Hamburgers. Neighborhood friends. I just don’t like that kind of “party pressure” that arises every year around SXSW, spring break (woo!), and St. Patrick’s Day. Now that it’s all over, we can go back to focusing on our delicious, everyday misery.

Speaking of misery, let’s add 30 miles to the Southpaw Jones Virtual Excursion des Pieds! For the uninitiated, this is a “trip” I’m taking based on the miles I earn via treadmill and trail. As the crow flies! 237.4 total miles! Let’s check it out:

Week 1: 30 miles to Taylor, Texas
Week 2: 27 miles to Rockdale, Texas
Week 3: 20.7 miles to Caldwell, Texas
Week 4: 22.3 miles to Bryan/College Station, Texas
Week 5: 21 miles through Gibbons Creek Lake
Week 6: 24.4 miles to Hunstville, Texas
Week 7: 22 miles to Trinity, Texas
Week 8: 24 miles to Crockett, Texas
Week 9: 16 miles to Kennard, Texas
Week 10+11: 30 miles to…

RUSK, TEXAS!

Ah, Rusk. Population 5,085. Elevation 506 feet. The place was named for Thomas Jefferson Rusk who signed the Texas Declaration of Independence, and it was the birthplace of James Stephen Hogg and Thomas Campbell, the first two Governors of Texas born in the state. Something called “Breakfast with Mr. Bunny” is coming up in town. I wish I could stay for that, but I’ve got to continue this tour. Hell or high water! Hyah!

Online Museum of the Week
Covers of Girl from Ipanema:

Jethro Tull

Plumb, Plumber, Plumbest
Signs o’ the times from Austin’s singing Jewish plumber, Herman Bennett:

ODORLESS CLEANERS

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

There is no odor so bad as that which arises from goodness tainted.
Henry David Thoreau

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.net
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2007 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.