Southpaw Jones

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Happy FRIDAY to all! We made it! There was a time, I dunno, let’s say around MONDAY when I thought it would never happen, but here we are. Show some teeth to your monitor. The weekend has arrived.

Let’s start today with an oh-so-tempting message I found on the guestbook of southpawjones.com. It’s a fine web site that I wholeheartedly endorse.

Hi. My name is Elise. I’m very sexy girl with big boobs Have a photo if you want. In panties)) I am from Russia, sorry for my english. But… I cant find REALLY smart man. Where are you, Smarty Man??? I want to find you!!! I have webcam, we can talk online. But I nebie in the internet, so can have a problems…Thanks…

Do I really come off like such a nerd that I would fall for SPAM like this? “Ooo, a busty Russian girl likes smart men and needs me to show her how to avoid a problems on the internet!” Tell you what, Elise. Being the “smarty man” that I am, I have developed a series of compact discs that utilize the magic of music to teach English, reduce breast size, and discourage emoticon usage. I think you should buy them all.

What’s up with James Bond? The new 007 film comes out today, and I can’t think of ONE person in my life who looks forward to these things. Aren’t they just silly action movies with self-aware clichés, product placement, airbrushed actresses, and explosions?

NPR has done several stories about Bond this week as if anyone cares. They talk about the CHARACTER of Bond. Can this new guy pull off “the character”? Uh, he smirks, he winks, he drinks, he kisses, he’s cool, he’s slick, and he just might not succeed in the end. Sounds a lot like Southpaw Jones, but you don’t see people lining up for my 63rd movie.

Ah, but they say this Bond is different. Every time with the different! He’s gritty, he’s realistic, he gets tortured, blah, blah, blah. Here’s the different Bond I’ll go see: Elise Bond. She’s Russian, that’s a crazy twist! She’s got big boobs that she uses to smother terrorists. She’s got a spy camera and spy panties, and she’s desperately searching for a “Smarty Man.” A scientist, perhaps, who can help her dismantle a nuclear bomb, or build an anti-bomb which releases sex, flowers, and broken English upon unsuspecting villagers.

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
MEN’S ADVENTURE MAGAZINE COVERS:

December 1963, REAL COMBAT

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

then we tied the knot
so that our prudish children
would quit their bitchin’

Tom Lamb presents
Steely Dan’s Finest Works
The top ten songs in no particular order:

Bad Sneakers - the imagery of having a transistor in one hand and “a large sum” of money in the other makes me happy.

Check it out on .

Southpaw Jones presents
Fool Around Friday
Silly games for silly times:

Thank you, come again!
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E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.