Southpaw Jones

Hello, you’ve reached the desk of Thursday.

November 16, 2006 By: Southpaw Jones Category: Interesting?

Southpaw Jones presents
Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Good times at Café Mundi last night. Wintertime is my favorite for that fine weekly tradition. Folks lookin’ good, drinking coffee, playing inside without a PA. It’s one of the more unique live music experiences in Austin, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

I just about shaved my head on Tuesday. I didn’t use a razor, but I took the guard off my clippers, so there’s not much hair to speak of up there. Frankly, I just don’t like hair. It reminds me of death and fingernails and carpet and the 70s, all things that don’t exactly fill my heart with glee. But it was a drastic personal move, even though I haven’t had long hair in years. People react in different ways, and if nothing else, I have found it to be a fine sociological experiment.

Men respond with apathy, humor, or vague envy, as if to say, “Ooo, that looks silly. I’ve been meaning to do that. Simplify my life above-the-shoulders life.”

Women, on the other hand, act as if I have chomped my thumb at all it means to be decent and human. After all, how are they going to grab onto me sternly when I get out of line? By my ears?

Women who know me well and assume that I’m strong simply laugh in my face for a few minutes straight. Those who aren’t so comfortable tell me it looks “interesting” and/or “different,” then snicker behind my back.

I look in the mirror, and I like it. I may never do it again, but hairlessness represents purity, punk, simplicity, and a disregard for all things shallow. No, I don’t think Natalie Portman is a great actress, but yes, I found her attractive in V for Vendetta. Perhaps I have a phrenology fetish. Perhaps I come from the future, where hair is recognized as the silly, involuntary accessory it really is. Scalp hair joins sullen faces, cubicles, and unchecked horniness as the final leftovers of our monkey heritage. Let’s all evolve and shave it off. Preferably in the spring. Or December 12, 2012.

Southpaw Jones presents
Online Museum of the Week
MEN’S ADVENTURE MAGAZINE COVERS:

March 1956, MAN’S LIFE

Spike Gillespie presents
Spaiku!
A look at her world / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

to celebrate this
serendipitous moment
we fucked like bunnies

Southpaw Jones presents
Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson