Southpaw Jones

…let me listen to Bruce Hornsby turned up to medium with my windows down.

…I can thump twenty-somethings in the ear, and they can’t thump me back.

…and I’m old enough to know that if God wanted us to write only love songs, he’d have made more words rhyme with “love” and “heart.”

…can’t I just shave my head and be done with society like Britney?

…and I’ve never been less interested in sports.

…and I don’t have any kids or pets, but my girlfriend has a 15-pound cat, and watching her take care of him is close enough to me taking care of something, I think.

…and I’m trying to get into shape so I can see what it feels like to really let myself go.

…I have an imaginary grill collecting imaginary dust in my imaginary garage.

…but I have several decades to go before my age matches my personality. Turn that racket down!

…and I’m glad to have a good home, good friends, good family, a good girlfriend, good gigs, access to good food and good music, a little money in the bank, this little blog, and you, fair reader!

as reported in The New York Times

April 8, 1908
HALF A MILLION SEE AUTO PARADE
With 1,500 automobiles in a line stretching over five miles of the city streets, and in view of 500,000 spectators for five hours, the tenth anniversary of the automobile trade in New York was cerebrated last night. The streets along the route of the procession were densely lined with people.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I wish there was a yearly instruction book for living one’s life. You know, you would get it on your birthday, and it could tell you how to handle the upcoming year. Is anyone else interested in an…

Highlight here for answer: [annual manual]


Lost In Translation - English Gone Wrong

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SAUTRDAY, APRIL 19
8:00 PM
Opening for Will Kimbrough
Bend Studio
5014 McKinney Ave. 75205
DALLAS, TX
214.841.9642
www.bendstudio.com
$20, Doors at 7 pm.