Southpaw Jones

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

In honor of tomorrow’s celebration of the lyrics of CRUELTY, here are the lyrics to Everyman. Mr. Brian Kremer will provide the oral interpretation live at Bookpeople. 7 pm! Free beer!

Everyman

I’ll be there when you need me
Like rivers wriggle to the sea
I’ll dig a trench with constancy and patience
Before your car begins to sputter
When your toast needs jam or butter
You’ll never find another man like me
I’ll be your everyman
Your back-up plan
Your biggest fan
For as long as I can

I’ll be there when clowns attack
And when your high school calls you back
To tell you that you never passed geometry
And I’ll be there to hold you in
When slow metabolism sets in
I’ll be your lift and tuck procedure
As well as your
Everyman
Your catamaran
Your VW van
Your luxury sedan
For as long as I can

I’ll be there when toil and trouble
Pop or burst or blow your bubble
I’ll excavate you from the rubble
And I’ll arrive when slippery slopes
And radioactive isotopes
Come callin’ for to dash your hopes
You can count on me
I’ll be your everyman
Your cotton candy
Your mocha grande
Your daily brandy
For as long as I can

Now with this song I don’t refer
To how we are or how we were
But rather how we’ll be as long as you’ll have me
I see a brilliant future coming
Trumpets trumpin’, drummers drummin’
You are my every woman
Glory be
And I’m your everyman
Your Peter Pan
Your Steely Dan
The wind beneath your wingspan
Your open-air CAT scan
Your sunless tan
Your lifetime ban on the Ku Klux Klan
Your Mexican flan
Your everyman
For as long as I can
Not quite done
I’m your everyman
I’m your everyman

as reported in The New York Times

September 9, 1908
SWELTERING IN TEXAS.
At Waco, They Do Say, Wall Paper Is Splitting from the Walls.
FORT WORTH, Texas — A special from Strawn, Texas, a mining town west of here, says that the thermometer yesterday registered 112 degrees, and to-day is standing at 109, with a hot wind blowing from the south. All business has been suspended in Strawn.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Have you seen the latest hippie film? Man, that is one far out…

Highlight here for answer: [groovy movie]


The Condiment Packet Gallery

The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly kind companion; and so let all young persons take their choice.
William Makepeace Thackeray

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
7:00 pm
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com
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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2008
7:00 PM
Five Things Austin
Do512 Lounge
2208. S. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
Each artist is given an item purchased at a local dollar store (mundane to insane) and a month to craft a 5-10 minute piece (fiction or non-, musical or otherwise) that involves the item as directly or obliquely as the author wishes. The item is then put on display during, or incorporated into the performance. Featuring Owen Egerton, Spike Gillespie, and more!
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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com