Southpaw Jones

Hello. It’s Monday, and I’ve just complete five shows in five days. It was a triumph of will and caffeine, and I can now sail into the holidays with a little ease and gusto.

Matt the Electrician and I headed to Dallas for a couple of performances. It really is another world up there. Manly men and womanly women. Lots of concrete and rectangles. I saw a local magazine cover boasting, “Dallas Shops!” We had a good time, and I kept my ears open to catch a couple of interesting conversations, such as…

I like that word ‘urbane.’ It seems like it’s only applied to men, though.
I like it, too. You know, I was a National Merit Scholar for vocabulary.
Oh, really? What does that word ‘disposition’ mean?
Oh, you know, I think of it as your personality, how you are. Like I would say you have a calm disposition.
Thanks.

You know what kind of people play disc golf, don’t you? The people who play disc golf. You know what kind of people they are, right? I mean, they sell equipment for that at smoke shops!

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

This writing utensil emits wonderful, shiny strands of holiday decoration! Would you like to sketch on the tree with my…

Highlight here for answer: [tinsel pencil]


Tacky Christmas Yards

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.”
Steven Wright

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://www.flipnotics.com